


admiring from afar

by heysiege



Category: Deltarune (Video Game)
Genre: AU where noelle becomes friends with susie in the light world instead, Closeted Character, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Post-Chapter 1, Slow Burn, Useless Lesbians, Written Pre-Chapter 2, they're trying their best...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2019-10-14 20:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 30,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17515085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heysiege/pseuds/heysiege
Summary: "we fell in love in october,that’s why i love fall, looking at the stars,admiring from afar - my girl, my girl, my girl..."Noelle Holiday sets a goal to befriend the school’s infamous delinquent, only to be surprised when things manage to go the way she’d least expect it to. How do polar opposites manage to bond so quickly to each other, yet still feel a bit distant?More importantly, who knew it took ashes and sugar to get them to properly talk?(title taken from an excerpt of "we fell in love in october" by girl in red.)(rated teen for language and some violence.)





	1. ashes and sugar

_“A little courage can go a long way!”_

That _was_ what Noelle Holiday had been taught by her father. But for some unknown reason, everything seemed to make her, coincidentally enough, freeze like a deer caught in headlights. Bugs, heights, thunderstorms, the dark, even the concept of Santa Claus were so frightening to her she’d almost jump out of her skin. 

As she began to grow older, the constant fear and anxieties over everything still lingered with her. And she _hated_ feeling that way all the time. Noelle just began to accept that she was a cowardly person; maybe her anxiety about everything would just be one of the problems she’d just have to face for the rest of her life. Nothing would change that.

Well, there was one thing, one person, to put it, who she thought might help her come out of her shell. A girl named Susie.

Susie was the _complete_ opposite of Noelle. She was tough, she was fearless, she was so independent. Sure, Susie may have been the school bully, but Noelle admired, and was intrigued by her character; she had traits that only she could dream of having. Not to mention, there was something about her that was, undoubtedly to Noelle, kind of cute.

“Kind of cute” was an understatement. Noelle had a full blown _crush_ on this girl.

Noelle’s crush on Susie had lasted since the previous winter, but whenever she would seem to run into her, Noelle could never bring herself to say anything. She was too head over heels to even make a remark towards Susie. She wasn’t, in a sense, intimidated at the idea of talking to her… but what if the outcome was negative? She really did admire Susie, but then again, that was _Susie_ she was thinking about. The school bully. The outcast. Who knew how well it would play out?

That worried mindset _had_ to change for Noelle. Her conscious kept nagging her to go talk to her, but her nervousness said otherwise. She had had enough of the mental battle dealing with her anxieties; Noelle was desperate to gain some confidence her own way. If she kept going at the rate she was, how was she ever going to talk to other girls?

New Year’s Day was the day she decided enough was enough. No more chickening out. She needed a new mindset; being scared wasn’t going to help her. Just a few hours after midnight, Noelle took out a piece of stationery and scrawled a goal right at the top of the paper, underlining the goal in green, glittery pen ink:

_“Use your courage and TALK TO SUSIE, GOSH-DARN IT.”_

Noelle ripped the top of the paper off, and pinned it to her cork board adorning her bedroom wall. She decided to giving the rest of the year to complete it. It couldn’t be THAT hard. It was just talking, right? She could get it done in a snap; after all, talking to someone only takes a few seconds. _Not a problem._

Oh, it became a problem, alright.

Months after months had passed after she set the goal. Autumn was nearing closer, and her goal still hadn’t been completed. No successful progress to initiate a conversation with her had been made. 

Unless she counted the times when she volunteered to do something with Susie, but those never lasted long. Or the other times she would “accidentally” run into Susie in the hallway, or on the way to school, but could never muster out anything other than a hushed apology -- but Noelle could never see those as _real_ conversations. For her, a conversation would at the least be a few sentences long, something that was _worth_ talking about. A bunch of half-assed sorries after purposely bumping into someone would not fit Noelle’s criteria.

The only conversation that was remotely about Susie happened a week ago, when Noelle was greeted by Kris after getting locked out. She had no idea why Kris wanted to go talk to her, or visit her dad in the hospital; normally they were so… reserved. Kris had talked for a short while about how they and Susie had skipped class that day, when they “left to grab chalk for Alphys”. It turned out that Kris found out that Susie was… a nice person. Like, actually nice. They told Noelle the two had made up when skipping class that day. Although Kris had been slammed into a locker earlier that morning, Susie had made up for it over time.

Noelle, at first, hadn’t believed what she had heard. Susie had always had an infamous reputation for being a stereotypical school bully, but Kris had the rare opportunity to see her true colors. Sure, she would be hot-headed at times, but deep down, Susie _could be_ a nice person. Noelle had always thought it was a possibility, but to hear that confirmed to her felt like a weight lifted off her chest. 

Noelle was also told by Kris that Susie had been… eating chalk when they arrived in the hallway. A weird craving, but she understood why all the chalk would go missing from Alphys’s classroom. It got Noelle thinking about what the appeal was with Susie and… chalk. Were different colors of chalk like different flavors? Was sidewalk chalk better than school chalk? She _had_ debated on maybe bringing Susie some chalk; maybe that would get them talking a bit. She shook that idea out of her head. That might get kind of weird…

A few days had passed since her encounter with Kris. Their words had given Noelle a glimmer of hope; maybe her goal wouldn’t be as impossible as it had been. She was confident that Susie was a good person, now all she needed was to apply that confidence for herself. Noelle would be all set to put her goal into action if she could just get the courage to even talk to her.

* * *

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

A loud buzzing noise blared from the alarm clock radio on Noelle’s nightstand. Still half asleep, Noelle felt up and down the nightstand before slamming her hand on top of the snooze button. She attempted to shove off a heavy quilt covering her head to toe before rolling out of bed and onto the floor, the quilt falling with her. She needed to arrive early to school today; a student council meeting was happening early in the morning, and she couldn’t miss it. She had already missed one due to her father’s medical issues, and missing a handful more could mean getting kicked off the council for good. 

After throwing on a green, oversized, and surprisingly un-tacky sweater dress, Noelle dragged herself out the front door. Her book bag was slinged over one shoulder, and a thermos filled with eggnog was clutched in her hand, as a substitute for breakfast. Noelle began to make her way down the block, bringing her slow pacing to a speed-walk.

The speed-walking was the most exercise Noelle had gotten in a while. She had skipped a few cross country practices to catch up on her advanced placement work, and it took a toll on her physical endurance. She soon enough found herself panting from her lack of practice.

Despite her lungs feeling like they had burst into flames, Noelle sped up. The school was only a little ways away; just one more turn and a few feet to go, and she’d probably make it on time to the meeting-

“There’s no meeting, Bro-elle.” 

Noelle came to a halt, out of breath. She glanced down to find Jockington, Berdly, and Fuku sitting on the curb in front of the school building. Berdly was completing equations in a worn down notebook, while Fuku was sitting away from the other two classmates, fidgeting with a metal lunchbox. 

“Yeah, we got locked out. Guess which teacher didn’t even bother to arrive on time?” Jockington made an obvious eyeroll, despite not being able to see his eyes, which were covered by a pair of sunglasses. Noelle sulked, and let her book bag fall off her shoulder and onto the ground. How typical. Alphys always seemed to show up late.

“Who wants to bet Alphys stayed up late watching _anime_ again?” Berdly sneered, glancing up from his notebook and snorting.

“ _You’re_ one to talk, Berdly,” Noelle countered, sitting down in between Fuku and Jockington on the curb. “Don’t think I haven’t seen you come into class wearing those _cat-girl shirts._ ” 

Berdly’s jaw dropped out of shock as Jockington and Fuku began to snicker. He pointed at Noelle with his pen in a half-joking manner.

“You know what? You got me there,” he replied in a huff. “But at least I’ve got _good_ taste in cat-girls.”

“Uh, dude. ANYONE who has an interest in cat-girls has _shit_ tier taste.” Noelle plastered a smug grin onto her face. She wasn’t one to swear much, but once in a while, she’d throw in an occasional swear for exaggeration, especially in arguments. And _this_ argument was too hilarious for her to pass that opportunity up.

Berdly hunched over his notebook, furiously scribbling away at an equation. Fuku and Jockington burst into even more laughter, trying to stifle it to the best of their abilities. 

“I’d give you a high five if I had hands, bro.”

“Oh… Thank you…?”

The laughter soon died down when the fire elemental spoke up.

“Okay, jokes aside, I’m still kinda bummed out about the meeting.” Fuku let out a sigh. “I spent so much time making cookies for everyone last night.” She held out a lunchbox rested in her lap, filled to the brim with black, charred cookies. The faint smell of smoke emitted from the lunchbox, causing a few of the students to cough. _Typical fire elemental cookies…_

Not wanting to be rude, Noelle gently picked one out of the lunchbox, and brought it to her mouth. Upon contact with her lips, the black cookie disintegrated into dust and fell onto the ground, floating with the slight updraft. The remaining parts of the cookie that made it to Noelle’s mouth tasted like burnt embers with a few grains of sugar. She scrunched up her face, swallowing what felt to be like burnt sand.

“Oh, I- I’m sorry, I- it’s really good, Fuku. Really.” Noelle’s expression turned into a polite smile.

Fuku let out another sigh, the flames at the top of her head dying down. “Oh no, it’s alright. They always do that. It’s just part of fire elemental cooking, I guess.” She shrugged. “ _But_ on the bright side, you actually managed to taste them instead of having the cookie disintegrate in your hand like the last time.”

Noelle thought back to the first time Fuku brought cookies to the first student council meeting. She remembered they didn’t even look edible. If anyone even tried picking a cookie up, it would immediately crumble into black dust. It was… a bit morbid, being monsters and such. Berdly had coined a name for that first batch upon trying to pick one up: _existential cookies_. A fitting name.

“I guess that’s…. just how the cookie crumbles,” Fuku said, breaking out into a “smile”; it was characterized by a bright, green glow. The rest of the group let out a sigh. Noelle rolled her eyes and scoffed. 

“Hey! Come on; my pun was funny.”

“By, like, _Snowy’s_ standard, yeah,” Jockington added. Fuku rolled her eyes, shoving one of the burnt cookies into wherever her mouth would be. They weren’t the best to her, either. 

“But for real, though,” Fuku continued, “I have no idea what I’m gonna do with the rest of these. They… aren’t even that good. _And I can’t even taste._ ”

“Maybe you could… You could share them with that skateboarding girl you always hang out with?” Noelle asked, picking up another cookie from the box. “She’s your… your girlfriend, right? I’m sure... I bet she’d like them.” 

She rushed to shove the cookie into her mouth. Noelle didn’t know why she was stuttering her way through the sentence. It was a simple question, and Noelle was a lesbian, as well; it shouldn’t be that hard to ask something like that.

Fuku looked up from the box of cookies. “Hm? Uh, yeah. She is.” She began to glow a bit more, as if she was blushing. “I’m not sure that she’s into burnt cooking, though. She’s more into… sweet stuff.”

Noelle’s suspicions were right. _So Fuku did like girls…_ Well, it made her glad to not be the only girl in town who did.

Noelle could also see _why_ they started dating. Fuku was, in a sense, a sweet person. While her intentions would sometimes not turn out the way she would want them to, like the burnt cookies, she still always meant well to everyone.

“Oh, I see,” Noelle spoke up after swallowing the cookie. She was worried she might say something out of place. 

“With how many you’ve been taking, I’d let you take the whole box right now.” Fuku let out a laugh. Noelle didn’t even realize she was reaching for a third cookie. She had no idea why; they tasted disgusting. Regardless, Fuku shoved the box into Noelle’s lap.

Noelle began to stutter again, pushing the lunchbox towards Fuku. “Oh, no, I couldn’t, I was just-“

“Oh, no, I insist!” Fuku countered. “Even if you don’t eat them, I’m sure you could find someone to share them with.”

Who in their _right mind_ even liked _charred cookies_ in the first place?

“Do you think Dess would eat them?” Fuku cocked her head.

“Oh, Dess? They’ve been out of town for, like... two months, I think?” Noelle paused to think. “They’re going university hunting around the province for a while.”

“I’m so out of the loop with this town,” Fuku explained. She placed her hand to her forehead. 

“Well, I’m sure I’ll… find someone to share these with,” Noelle lied. She had no intention of finding a person to share these with. She couldn’t bring herself to let another one touch her lips. Noelle wasn’t trying to turn her mouth into a fireplace. She decided she’d just throw them away when no one was around. Noelle knew this wasn’t the nicest thing she could do, but what else was she going to do with them? Turn them into compost? Leave them out to the birds?

Give them to Susie?

Noelle shook the thought out of her mind. She may have eaten chalk that one time, but she had to have some sort of standards for what she ate. 

 

* * *

Noelle’s fingers tapped a steady rhythm against the desk, as she tried to tune out Alphys’s rambling on about some subject she already knew inside and out. Every so often, Berdly would interrupt Alphys with a classic _“Well, ACTUALLY…”_ to correct her on a fact, which resorted in everyone letting out a collective groan. Why did this class feel so long all of a sudden? Every time the second hand on the clock would budge, the seconds doubled in time, over and over and over…For once in her straight-A, high-achieving life, Noelle was ready for the class to be over with.

Thankfully, bathroom passes were a pretty solid excuse to get out of class. As she headed towards the door, she glanced towards the back of the room. She caught Susie leaning over her desk whispering to Kris, before stifling a laugh with her hand. Her giant, toothy grin still managed to peek out. Noelle found herself staring, and in an instant shook her mind back into reality. She was just heading to the bathroom to take a breather. Daydreaming about Susie was NOT part of the plan. Still flustered, she rushed to close the door, slamming it in the process.

Not the brightest idea. A loud slam echoed throughout the hall. A chorus of muffled gasps and laughs from inside the classroom followed promptly afterward.

Noelle bolted from the door to the lockers, fumbling with the lock on hers. Something in her backpack was bound to keep her busy while she managed to regain some energy in the bathroom. As she finished unlocking the lock, the door to her locker swung open, revealing a mostly tidy compartment containing her book bag, save for a few stray homework assignments that lay at the bottom. She snagged her backpack, and headed towards the bathroom, letting out a sigh.

 

The school bathroom wasn’t an ideal place to regain some energy back, but it was… it was someplace. It smelled of linen air freshener, and a plastic plant was shoved in the corner by the sinks. As long as no one caught her loitering in the bathroom, Noelle would be fine. She needed to regain herself, and that class? Almost half of it being filled with the most annoying people on the planet? She couldn’t clear her mind there. 

She set down her backpack on a lone chair that managed to find its way into the bathroom, and unzipped her bag, rummaging around for something to pass the time with. Most of her backpack’s contents consisted of folders filled with completed papers, and other binders filled with notes and homework assignments. Noelle decided that homework was not how she should be spending her time, and started digging for something else. As her hand searched the bottom of her backpack, she felt something metal and cold.

Fuku’s lunchbox. She meant to return it earlier. Noelle pulled out the lunchbox, and set it on the sink counter with a clank. Opening the box, she was greeted by a haze of black dust from the cookies inside. That caused her to almost hack up a lung as she attempted fanning the dust away with her hand. These cookies were going to ruin her bookbag for sure if she kept them there. She needed to dispose of them, and _soon._

Okay, _maybe_ she was overreacting. Noelle _did_ eat three of them that morning. Then again, she was eating them to avoid saying the wrong thing to Fuku. They tasted terrible. She felt like she was eating remains of what was in an ashtray mixed with sugar. But just to make sure, she took another cookie and bit into it. Upon contact, it crumbled into her hands.

Yup. She was right. Still tasted gross. And with that weird, sandy texture combined, those cookies were not a force to be reckoned with any more. Noelle needed to throw these out. She spit out the remaining pieces of the cookie into the sink, turning on the faucet to wash the black dust off her hands. Not only did it smell and feel terrible, she couldn’t go around looking like she killed a monster.

Noelle lathered what was left of the liquid soap in the dispenser, and scrubbed her hands as hard as she could underneath the water. The icy water dripped off her fingers, making her hands grow even more numb the longer she scrubbed her hands. No matter how hard she scrubbed, the ashy dust would not leave her hands. It was annoying, but at least it gave Noelle a reason to stall a while longer.

Noelle was nearly finished getting all the dust off her hand when she heard the door to the bathroom swing open. She tensed up. Alphys must have called someone to get her. How long had she been in the bathroom for? Five, ten minutes? That wasn’t too long, but it shouldn’t have been that big of a deal for Alphys to call someone to find her. Out of the corner of her eye, Noelle glanced into the mirror to spot a tall figure wearing a denim jacket-

Oh, god.

It was Susie.

Literally anyone but Susie would have been fine for Noelle. With her uncurable timidness combined with her huge crush on this girl, she expected the worst. Noelle kept her head down, scrubbing her hands with even more force. It wasn’t to any effect. All the soap suds from her hands had already went down the drain, so she had no reason to keep scrubbing. Her hands were tingling from the coldness of the water. Still, Noelle could feel Susie’s eyes burning into the back of her head. 

“Hey. Deer girl.”

Being cautious and slow not to make any weird moves, Noelle tilted her head towards Susie, who was leaning against the door with her arms crossed.

“You done washing your hands or what? Teacher’s been waiting for you to get back.”

Noelle turned off the faucet, and reached for a paper towel. Water from her hands dripped across the counter. She dried her hands off, trying to be silent. Noelle was too intimidated to say anything. Not because of Susie, not at all, but of how Noelle would react in her presence. Still, that nagging voice inside her head kept pushing her to say something to Susie. Noelle took a deep breath, trying to not make herself sound nervous.

“M-my name is Noelle. N-Not deer girl.” Noelle began. “A-and just give me a few more minutes. I don’t want to go back right now.”

Susie let out a small scoff. “First of all, I know your name.” Noelle’s cheeks turned pink. 

“Second of all, come on, dude. I don’t have time for jokes. That math problem on the board is hurting my eyes from looking at it for so long.”

Noelle grabbed another paper towel, trying to distract herself. “I’m skipping class for a while, alright? It’s not that big of a deal. I would _think_ you would understand.” 

“And besides,” she continued, “I have… I have stuff in my bag to c-clean up, anyways, so…”

Susie’s mind had wandered somewhere else. She eyed the lunch box sitting on the sink counter, observing it out of curiosity. She pointed at the box, approaching the sink.

“Yo, are those cookies?” 

Noelle was drawn back from the sudden change in conversation. Her expression was torn between confusion and humor. “Uh…. Yeah? Why?”

“You mind if I try one?”

Noelle wasn't sure how to react. She guessed it could be good to get rid of them this way.

“...Go ahead, I mean I was planning on throwing them away anyways, but-”

Susie picked one out of the box, examined it in her hand, and then proceeded to throw it in her mouth like a piece of popcorn. Noelle watched her eat it, intimidated yet surprised. Susie finished the cookie, tilting back her head as she swallowed. She looked down at the box of cookies, then back to Noelle, eyes lighting up.

“Holy shit… Noelle. Those cookies… are fuckin’ amazing.” A few crumbs dropped from Susie’s mouth and onto the floor. “They kinda… they kinda taste like an ashtray-”

“Mixed with sugar?” Noelle completed her sentence.

Susie looked at Noelle with wide eyes, as if their minds were connected. _“Yeah! Exactly!”_

“Well, I mean… You can have the rest of them if you want-”

Susie wasted no time picking up the lunch box and dumping the rest of the cookies into her mouth. A bit of the dust fell onto her face in the process. She laughed a little bit, wiping some of the ash from her face onto her jacket sleeve, causing the denim to stain black. 

“Man, thanks for those cookies. That was probably the nicest thing I’ve ever been offered.” Susie glanced down at Noelle, who had glanced away as soon as Susie looked her way. Noelle began fidgeting with her hands. 

“Oh, wait, did you… want them or something?”

Noelle began waving her hands in front of her. “Oh- Oh no, it’s fine! I was planning on throwing them away… It’s a good thing you liked them though, I guess…”

 _“Throw them away?”_ Susie was in shock at Noelle’s previous plans. “Those are literally the best cookies I’ve ever had. Like, ever. You _gotta_ get me the recipe. I don’t even cook, but like… damn, dude. If I did I’d make these _every day._ ”

Noelle let out a soft laugh. “Well, I mean, I didn’t even-”

Susie interrupted her, already making her way towards the door. “You can just pass it to me as like, a note in class or something.” She began to push open the door, then turned back towards Noelle. 

“Well, maybe not today…? Because, like… I was planning on skipping class after Alphys told me to go check on you.” Susie shrugged. “So, maybe like, tomorrow or something, y’know.”

Noelle grabbed her backpack from the chair, which was still open, and slung it over her shoulders as if she was in a rush. “W-wait! I uh, was _also_ planning to skip today…”

Noelle was not going to let this opportunity go to waste.

Susie let out a snicker. “Wait, are you serious? _You?_ Skipping class?”

To Noelle, skipping class today didn’t seem too bad of an idea, now that she thought about it… Besides, what was one absent day to her permanent record?

“Yeah… actually. I’m kind of annoyed with like, half of the people in that class, anyways. I need a break.”

“Tell me about it,” Susie muttered under her breath as she pushed open the door with her shoulder. “You coming?”

Noelle was struggling to zip up her backpack, which was still on her back. She decided to leave it for now. “Uh… yeah…?” She raised an eyebrow. “Wait, you’re… going with me?”

“Yeah. You’ve clearly never skipped a day of class in your life before. I’ll help you out.” 

“Well, you kind of got me there…” Noelle said, making her way out of the bathroom. She didn’t even seem to notice that she had left the empty lunchbox on the sink counters, which inside had been coated with a thin layer of dark grey dust.

The two made their way down the main hall towards the front door; the only sounds coming from them were the taps of their feet walking down the hall as Noelle tried keeping up with Susie’s fast-paced steps. Noelle wanted to speak up, but she wasn’t sure what to say to her. She had so many questions, and yet none at the same time. 

As they reached the front doors, it opened with a click and a loud creak that echoed through the halls, and Susie began to sprint outside, away from the school’s view. Noelle followed her lead, jogging as fast as she could to catch up. She tried to be cautious, as her backpack was still open, and she couldn’t afford to lose any more homework assignments.

Noelle made the turn, managing to build up a bit of running speed, and almost immediately crashed into Susie, who was standing with her arms crossed. Noelle rubbed her forehead; she hoped she didn’t bruise.

“Susie, oh my god, I am SO sorry, I promise that won’t-”

Susie didn’t seem to be moved by Noelle’s collision. “So, where to, delinquent?”

Noelle felt confused. So Susie wasn’t acting all… bully-ish than usual… Maybe she was trying to improve herself? Make a friend?

Well, Noelle could only hope. She pushed herself off the sidewalk, brushing herself off.

“I don’t know… I didn’t think I’d come this far doing teenage rebellion.”

Susie let out a sigh. For someone skipping school, she didn’t realize she would have to do some schooling of her own. “Well, if you’re going to skip class, you gotta take advantage of the time that’s available for you. How about… you find a place you wanna go?”

“You know, even then I’m still not really sure of that…”

“Really? Not even like, the lake or something?”

Noelle shrugged. “I guess… the diner would be a nice place to go… I am kind of hungry.”

“Hellllll no. The servers will see us. We’ll get caught there.” Susie made a chopping motion in the air by her neck. “Not going.”

“I’ll pay for your meal...? And- and… bribe the servers to not rat us out?”

Susie’s attitude changed almost within the second Noelle spoke the idea into existence. “Alright, we’re going.”

Noelle let out a laugh, as she began to walk towards the diner, Susie walking on her right. “Does it really take food to win you over?”

“I mean, if I’m hungry, I get angry faster. So yeah, I guess.”

Noelle nodded. “I’ll… keep that in mind.”

* * *

The chimes hanging from the door at QC’s Diner jingled as the door slammed behind the two girls. Well, there went their chances at being subtle. Luckily for them, it wasn’t too crowded -- just a few people scattered throughout the booths here and there, and… Fuku and the skateboarding girl. Or to Fuku: her girlfriend. It seemed like they were talking up a storm. After what seemed to be her and the skateboarding girl laughing up a storm, Fuku’s attention was redirected when she saw Noelle, and she waved to her.

It was still strange for Noelle to take in, that there were girls _like her_ in that tiny town of hers. Noelle gave her a little wave back as she and Susie walked towards a booth tucked away from the door.

“You can stay here,” Noelle said to Susie. “I’ll go order up at the front. Anything in particular you want?”

Susie shrugged in response. She wasn’t used to someone taking her out for food. Not only that, but after the ham sandwich incident that occured at the diner several months before, she didn’t seem to remember what was on the menu. 

“I dunno. Whatever is fine.”

“I’ll… get you a milkshake.” Noelle nudged her way out of the booth seat, smoothing out her dress. As she started to head off, she turned back abruptly and jumped back into the seat, reaching into her backpack to pull out a leather wallet. She waved it in front of her face.

“Alright. NOW I’ll get you a milkshake.” She let out a nervous laugh before rushing out of the booth and speed-walking towards the front counter.

Noelle’s thoughts seemed to feel like a broken record as the phrase _“Good going, Noelle"_ echoed throughout the entirety of her brain. _“Now Susie’s gonna think you’re weird, idiot.”_ How many times had she embarrassed herself in front of Susie again? Three times? Or was it five? Probably more than-

Noelle’s embarrassment counter came to a quick halt when Fuku waved for her. “Hey, Noelle! Over here!”

She approached the table. Several empty plates were scattered across the table, and Fuku and the skateboarding girl were sitting on the same side of the booth. Her arm was draped around Fuku’s shoulder. Noelle leaned against the table, giving a polite smile.

“Since when did Miss-Perfect-GPA-Noelle Holiday, of all monsters, _skip class?_ ” Fuku shot her a smug glance, cocking her head.

 _Damn._ There goes their cover. Noelle glanced around the room, trying to stall. “I, um… just wanted to see… what the hype was all about, y’know?” She tried to pull off a casual shrug. “Everyone’s gotta try out teenage rebellion sometime in their life… ”

The skateboarding girl piped up. “Are you sure you’re like, alright, though?” 

“Yeah, seriously! I’m having fun, I guess.”

Fuku brought her voice down to a whisper. “ _Noelle_ , listen to yourself. Out of all the people, you’re hanging out with _Susie_? You know, the girl who ripped off a tree limb and chased Berdly with it all across town?"

Noelle tried not to laugh picturing that scenario. Berdly did deserve something like that. She covered up her laugh with a cough.

"Are you hanging out with her for, like, a dare or something?”

“Wh-what?! No, it’s not a dare at all!” Noelle’s cheeks grew pink. “It’s just… I don’t know. We, uh, were… both skipping school at the same time, and… I thought it would be nice to tag along, y’know?”

“I’d still watch out if I were you,” the skateboard girl whispered. “Nerds always have a tendency to end up with bullies in the worst of times. Keep an eye out, okay?”

“I mean, I’ll be fine, but… thank… you?” Noelle began to walk away, but then paused. “Oh yeah, Fuku, if it’s not much trouble… Do you mind making more of those cookies? One of my friends really liked them, and I, uh… wanted to give them some more.”

While it wasn’t exactly clear what emotion the fire elemental was expressing, her flames seemed to glow with joy. “Are you serious?!” Noelle nodded her head. “Th-then of course! I’ll make another batch soon! Who’s the friend?”

With all the trash talking the couple had said about Susie, she preferred not to say. Noelle wasn’t even sure if Susie was a friend yet, but with what had already happened with them today, she didn't want to seem rude and assume she wasn't a friend.

“Uh, I don’t wanna… y’know, expose their identity, I guess.”

There was a long pause. Noelle was unsure of what to do, so she was the first to break the silence, letting out another cough.

“I, uh… gotta go order my food now. But I’ll talk to you about it later, okay?”

Fuku and the skateboarding girl exchanged looks of confusion. “Yeah, of course! Talk to you later, I guess...”

It was an awkward departure, but Noelle was glad it was over with. 

* * *

Susie’s fingers tapped an impatient rhythm against the top of the wooden table. Whatever was taking Noelle so long, she didn’t blame her. She assumed she was avoiding her -- which she understood; she wouldn’t want to hang out with someone as scary as her either -- but she didn’t try to get her hopes down yet. This girl was actually willing to hang out with her. Or was it some kind of prank? Some sort of dare? Noelle was scared of almost everything, but she seemed less nervous around her. A little jittery sometimes, yes, but besides that, it wasn’t too bad. 

Susie’s thoughts were interrupted when Noelle set down a frothy glass filled to the brim with a pink mixture. On the opposite side of the table, she set down a small bowl of ice cream with a spoon stuck in the top. Susie assumed Noelle must have been eating it on the way back.

Noelle sat down and picked up her spoon, stirring the ice cream in her bowl. “I hope you like strawberry… They were all out of chocolate, but the strawberry ones here are a lot better anyways, so...”

Susie examined the glass. “Uh, yeah, that’s alright. Thank you.”

The two sat in silence as they ate. Susie was the first to speak up.

“I, uh. Have a question.” Susie stirred at her milkshake with her straw to keep her distracted.

“What is it?”

She took a deep breath. “How come, uh… how come you’re doing this? Like, wanting to spend time with me?”

Noelle became confused. “Well, first off, you’re kind of the person who followed me here…”

“Okay, well _duh,_ but like… How come you aren’t, like…” Susie wasn’t sure how to end the sentence.

“Wait, let me try that again. Like… I mean, no one really likes being around me. They just look at me and think ‘Oh, that’s _Susie_ , the fuckin’... _the fuckin’ scary girl’,_ or say other stuff like, ‘If you Suz you lose!’ and shit like that.” Susie made little gestures with her hands.

“But like, other than Kris, you’re the only other person who’s been like… nice to me. Y’know? Are you acting like this for like... some kind of joke? Like a dare?”

Noelle was taken aback. “What?! _No!_ Absolutely not!” Her face became more serious. “Come on, Susie, if I didn’t… think you were cool, I would’ve told you to leave me alone a long time ago. I’m having fun with you, alright?”

Susie was having a hard time buying it. “ _You’re_ having fun with me.”

Noelle gave her a smile. “Yeah, I am. It’s like, my first time skipping school ever and the number one person for like… rebellion is teaching me how.” Noelle shrugged and looked down. 

“You _sure_ this isn’t a dare?”

“Positive.”

Susie glanced down at her milkshake, a bit skeptical of Noelle’s response. A brief silence followed.

Noelle’s face grew concerned. “Susie, I know- I know you probably aren’t sure of all this, but… but I really _am_ having fun, okay? I… You seem really interesting, and I… I’d like to be friends, if that’s okay with you.” 

Now _Noelle_ was the one trying to avoid eye contact. A shy but reassuring smile brushed her face as she waited for Susie to respond. She fidgeted with the spoon in her hand.

Susie wasn’t sure what to make out of all… this. It was nice that Noelle wanted to be friends with her, but causing Noelle to go the extra mile to do all this? It seemed too nice. She did think what Noelle was doing was sweet, but yet, that anxiety from being teased and previous “friendships” that weren’t even friendships all stung her in the chest. Like it did when she and Kris became friends, and look how that turned out. It may have taken a while to warm up, but the two soon enough became friends. Real friends, not a forced friendship forced on them by someone else.

And Noelle? It didn’t seem like she was being forced, either. She really had a genuine interest to hang out with Susie. Sure, she’d be awkward at times, but she just assumed that Noelle was just… nervous of messing up in front of her. Susie was considered pretty intimidating, and considered herself so, as well, so it wasn’t like Noelle had a _crush_ or anything.

Maybe suppressing that feeling of wanting friendship was a bad idea. After all, what was so wrong with Noelle that she couldn’t be friends with her?

_Oh, what the hell. Why not?_

Susie attempted to make eye contact with the girl across from her, who would glance up to her every so often. She offered Noelle what she attempted to make of a polite smile. “Yeah, uh… I’d like that.”

“R-really? Awesome.”

A huge, toothy smile crept onto Noelle’s face, despite taking all of her energy to hide her awkward excitedness. First impressions could make or break a friendship, and she wanted to seem interesting to Susie, as well. 

Susie was the first one to speak up. “Okay, lemme just start this whole friendship thing off with that, um… It’s been awhile since I’ve had friends. Like, a real friend, I guess. So if I act kinda weird… then you know why, I guess. Most people just found me intimidating, and then, y’know. They just kind of… ditched me. ”

“Well, then… then, those were some _lame-ass friends_.” Noelle enunciated on the curse word as she slammed her hand onto the table. “People shouldn’t ditch their friends like that. It’s what’s on the inside that really matters, you know?” 

Susie snickered at Noelle’s use of cursing. “Yeah. They were pretty, uh… _lame-ass_ ,” Susie replied, mimicking how Noelle said it beforehand. Noelle let out a laugh, and Susie noticed she snorted a little bit when she began to stifle her laughter with her hand.

“Hey, I’m trying to sound cool here! Give me a chance!”

Susie leaned her elbow on the table, propping up her chin in her hand. “Pff, you’re all good.” Her demeanor fell into a reminiscent state. “But like, yeah. It’s just… You grew up being the 'mean kid', and now that you’ve tried to change, no one even really stops to see how you’ve changed.”

Noelle tried to add her input into the conversation. “Yeah, I can... kind of understand that. Like, remember how I used to be really scared of everything when I was younger?”

Susie nodded. She thought back to the time in middle school where the class had to dissect a bug for science. She remembered hearing Noelle tell the teacher, with shaky breath and tears filled to the brim in her eyes, that she couldn’t do it, and then proceeded to rush out the door when the teacher said she had no choice.

“Like, that was all in the past. But then I just found out that being scared of all that stuff? That was something that just… happens to me sometimes. Like, I get anxious about things. It’s not something that… that I can fix easily.”

Noelle’s rambling continued. “-And then with my mom being the mayor, and my dad being stuck in the hospital, I have to keep this image that I’m not the same scared kid I was before, like I’m not scared of anything at all. So everyone thinks I’ve changed, and I mean, I kind of have… But that anxious part of me still kinda remains.”

“So, uh… I mean, it’s _kind_ of something we have in common? I didn’t mean to ramble too much, but… yeah.” Noelle finished it off with an awkward laugh.

Susie leaned forward in her seat. “Oh no, that makes like… complete sense. Like I think after I became friends with Kris, I was like, _‘Oh shit. Maybe I do need to change.’_ And now that change has kind of happened, people don’t really notice that. They only care about the old me.”

Noelle’s thoughts were brought to Susie’s new friend. “Oh, yeah, Kris! I just remembered that you two are friends now. How are they?”

“Still the same prankster they’ve always been, I guess.” Susie let out a laugh. “But they’ve seemed… less themself. Like, remember when Alphys made me grab the chalk with Kris? They were just… so robot-like. It was like, really creepy.”

Noelle thought back to that day. She remembered that was the day Kris visited her dad in the hospital. “Oh yeah, I remember that day… They went to visit me at my house, and then they just… wouldn’t stop talking to me. And Kris _rarely_ talks to me anymore.” _Not after they were kids, anyways._

“What did they even talk to you about?”

“Oh, well, nothing much, just to see what I was doing locked out, and how my dad was doing, and…”

 _Oh, right._ She rambled about Susie to them for a good five minutes. And who knows how much they heard her rambling about her to her dad in the hospital. Not to mention, she almost asked Kris if they knew if Susie was into girls. Noelle's face flushed out of embarrassment thinking back on the conversation; she could _not_ tell Susie about that.

“-And, uh… Other things. It’s, uh… kind of hard to remember ALL the details.” _Good save, Noelle._ She ended the topic by spooning a big scoop of ice cream into her mouth. “Oh, speaking of them, I meant to ask you something earlier…”

“What is it?”

“What… what really happened when you went to get chalk with Kris? Like, you were gone the whole day. Did you two just skip class, or...?”

Now Susie was the one having to come up with an excuse. “It’s, well… With what happened that day, I don’t think you’d believe me.”

“Oh, come on!” Noelle began to grow eager to know the details. What could have happened that would make Susie not want to talk about it? “I wanna hear what happened.”

“No, seriously. I REALLY don’t think you’d believe me. It was like... some paranormal shit.” Susie took another sip of her milkshake, and leaned back into the seat.

“Oh my _god_ , Susie. You’re making me even more curious.”

Susie let out a deep exhale, like she was letting something off her chest. She glanced around the diner before leaning towards Noelle and bringing her voice down to a low, raspy whisper. “One circumstance. You gotta promise not to say anything about this to anyone, alright?” The girl across her nodded in response, making a zipper motion across her mouth and pretending to throw it away.

“I won’t say a word.”

Susie paused again, leaning in even closer. “Alright, so here’s the whole deal.” She inhaled, and began to let the secret fall off her tongue.

“When Kris and I went into the closet to get some chalk, something was up with it. Like… like it had a whole secret world. And the floor caved in, and I fell into this weird place. And there were all these different monsters who resembled cards and stuff. Also like, I was wearing like... this really spiky outfit. AND I had an axe, and my hair was all purple… It was so fuckin’ cool.” Susie pretended to swing around an invisible axe, being careful not to knock anything over.

Susie looked up from her battle-axe pantomiming to see what Noelle’s reaction would be. She was surprised to see Noelle not holding in an attempt to burst into laughter, or her rolling her eyes in disbelief… Noelle was listening intently, her mouth slightly agape but still smiling.

“Well, keep going! I wanna know more about this whole... closet world.”

Susie was surprised Noelle was even interested in this. “Well, so like… yeah, Kris and I were in this place that everyone there called the ‘Dark World’. And this fluffy dude named Ralsei -- who I shit you not, looked almost JUST like Asriel -- showed up. You two would’ve gotten along well; you both have, uh… really soft personalities, I guess.”

Noelle wondered how much redder her face was going to get before she turned into a cherry. Susie didn’t seem to notice, however; she was too busy rambling about her experiences in the Dark World.

“And this other dude, Lancer… he was like a tiny little spade-themed teddy bear thing. That little guy was one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. He may have been a bad dude at first, but… he looked up to me, y’know? … He wanted to be just like me.” 

Susie became lost in thought, and her voice hushed. “I had never experienced something like that before. Everyone up here’s so scared of me, but… he acted like I was his role model. Almost like I was his older sister, or something. It was nice being liked for just being myself.”

Oh, if only Susie knew how Noelle felt in that moment. She was overjoyed to hear that Susie was able to find another person who liked her for who she was; but at the same time, it made her heart sink to find out she had never experienced something like that before. If it hadn’t so early in their friendship, Noelle might have blurted out how she liked her the way she was too, how she’s always felt that way -- but hell, they only _just_ became friends. Saying something like that was a bad decision waiting to happen. Diving into a situation like that might be like jumping into a mountain: impulsive, dangerous, and never knowing where you’ll end up once you reach the bottom.

All Noelle could offer was a soft, but understanding smile.

Susie didn’t know why, but it caught her off guard. She cleared her throat, and her attitude changed to a more happier, reminiscent one.

“Anyways, uh… The weird thing about this whole ‘Dark World’ thing… when Kris and I left, we ended up in the unused classroom. And all these board games were scattered across the floor, like we didn’t even leave school. Like, I didn’t know if it was a dream, or what.”

“Did… did you ask Kris what they saw?”

“Yeah, and they said they saw it all too. But whenever they’d tell people, they’d just laugh it off. Like they reported it to Undyne and everything.”

Noelle spooned another bite of ice cream into her mouth, which was beginning to melt into a lukewarm, soupy consistency. “Well, I guess I can believe you. I think I’d maybe have to see it for myself, though.” She let out a small laugh.

Susie pointed a finger towards Noelle. “I _assure_ you, if I’m ever able to go back there, I’ll take you along.”

“Sounds like a good plan!”

* * *

It had been who knows how long the two girls had been talking in the diner before they stepped outside. The sky was clear, and seemed a much vibrant blue than usual.

“So…” Susie began, “Where to now? You wanna head back to class?”

Noelle shrugged as they dragged their feet along the sidewalk. “I think it might be too late to get back to class, heh.” She looked at the golden glow the town seemed to give off as the afternoon began to turn into dusk.

“Oh, shit. You’re right. What time is it, anyways?”

Noelle turned on her phone, grimacing when she saw the time, along with eleven missed calls from her parents. “Late enough. I gotta get home.”

“Already?”

Noelle sighed. “Yeah, my mom kinda gets mad if I’m not keeping up with my schedule. Also, I have a bunch of homework I gotta do, not to mention I missed cross-country practive today, and visiting my dad, and… yeah. There’s a lot on my plate at the moment.”

The shorter girl turned towards Susie with a bashful smile. “But… I had a lot of fun today. We should do this again sometime.”

“Yeah, me too. It... was nice.”

The rest of the walk to Susie’s apartment was, for the most part, silent. Nothing broke the silence except for the sound of the leaves crunching underneath their feet. On occasion, the autumn wind would brush between the two, carrying the voices from the other monsters down the streets to their ears. Everything was calm; no pestering thoughts roamed through their heads, no sudden jerks to ruin the ambience. It felt like their whole worlds were at peace as they took in the scenery they never seemed to notice before.

It wasn’t too long before they reached Susie’s apartment building. Remaining sections of graffiti that had somehow survived a power-wash stained the bricks on the front. As the two headed up the concrete steps, Noelle’s brain alerted her that the outing was coming to an end. She didn’t want to leave Susie hanging without a way to talk to her again.

“Wait, uh… before you go, I… I wanted to give you my number.” Noelle began digging through her bag for a pen. “Just in case. If you ever want to talk, or if you ever need my help with anything… that way, I’m available.”

“You can just put your number in my phone, y’know.” Susie reached into her jacket’s pocket and handed Noelle her phone. It was definitely an older model, and the screen was cracked.

“Oh! Of course.” Noelle reached for the phone, and typed in her contact information as best as she could. It was a bit difficult to type, as the screen’s cracks made it difficult to even see the letters. She handed back Susie the phone after signing her name with a little pine tree emoticon at the end.

“Well, hopefully that’ll do. I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess!” The shorter girl began making her way down the steps and across the sidewalk as she made her way home. She waved a quick good-bye towards Susie.

“I had fun!”

* * *

Noelle was lucky she remembered her keys as she unlocked the gate of her house. She wouldn’t have to stay over at a friend’s until her mother called her, asking where she was. The only downside was that she didn’t have a good excuse to make up for her absence to tell her mother.

The door swung open before Noelle placed her hand on the doorknob. _Speak of the devil_. Her mother stood in the doorway, arms crossed.

“Mom…! I didn’t know you got off work early today-”

“Noelle Holiday. You better have a good excuse on why you were absent from class today.”

 _Damn._ She didn’t realize how fast those teachers sent out those emails. She closed the door behind her, and Noelle dropped her backpack on the floor as she watched her mother pace around her, frustrated.

“I got _two_ emails from your teachers asking about your absence, along with a phone call from Alphys! And I go out of my way, away from my job, _as the mayor,_ to find out where you are. I _know_ my daughter doesn’t skip class. _Where_ were you?”

“No no no, I wasn’t skipping-”

“Then _why_ did your teachers say you left for the bathroom and never came back? Hm?”

Her mother had found out the truth; now Noelle needed to find a way to stretch it.

Noelle let out a shaky breath. “It… it wasn’t really meant to be ‘skipping class’. My friend needed some… help tutoring. She’s... really struggling, and she didn’t have much time outside of school to really work on it. So we kinda just did it outside class. And we didn’t realize how much class we missed until it was too late. I promise it won’t happen again-” 

“Which friend?”

“... Susie.”

Her mother let out a sigh. “You mean that bully girl? Noelle, don’t hang out around her. I don’t want her being a bad influence on you-”

“She’s not a bad influence-”

“Who knows if she’s doing drugs, or what-”

“MOM. She doesn’t do drugs.”

A brief silence followed. Her mother spoke up again.

“This kind of stunt better not happen again, or I’ll put you back into those online courses.”

Ugh. Noelle couldn’t even bring herself to do homeschooling again. “It was a _one time thing!_ It won’t happen again-”

“Just say ‘yes ma’am’.”

Noelle let out a defeated sigh. She was growing impatient and wanted this to be over with. “Yes, ma’am.”

Her mother turned towards the door. “Thank you. I’m heading back to the city hall. Who knows how much work I’ve missed.” 

“Again, I’m really sorry-”

“Make sure you do your homework. There’s also some leftover pasta for dinner in the fridge if you want it.”

The double doors came to a close, making a large gust of wind that brushed past Noelle.

And with that, Noelle was home alone again. She let out a sigh of relief, trudging her way up the stairs dragging her backpack behind her. 

* * *

The door slammed behind her as she entered the comfort of her bedroom. There wasn’t much to it -- it was a pretty cozy space, with a bed piled with fluffy blankets and a desk in the corner for finishing her work. If she touched it up a little, she could probably survive living in there.

Homework was the last thing she wanted to be doing as she fell onto her bed and pulled out her phone. She was surprised to see that her dad had texted her.

Oh, right. Of course, that’s why he texted her. She didn’t get to visit him today. A pang of disappointment hit her as Noelle opened up the message.

**_Dad: 6:56 pm_ ** __

_> Hey kiddo! Where were you today? You just gonna ghost your old man like that? _

 

Noelle snickered at her father’s use of lingo before hastily typing a reply.

 

**_Noelle: 7:02 pm_ ** __

_> Aaaa dad i’m sorry! Got kind of preoccupied today._

_**Dad: 7:03 pm** _

_> Oh I HEARD. You mother called me today 3 times asking me if I’d seen you. _

Of course her mother would do something like that. She let out a groan.

**_Noelle: 7:03 pm_ ** __

_> yeah I uhhhhh…. skipped school today :D had to try out typical rebellious teenage stuff once in a while lol_

_**Dad: 7:04 pm** _

_> Since when does Noelle Holiday SKIP CLASS?!_

_> When you see me tomorrow you better tell me EVERYTHING you delinquent!_

_**Noelle: 7:04 pm** _

_> Okay but it was a one time thing!!! And it’s not gonna happen again, I can guarantee that._

_> PLUS. It was for a good reason._

_**Dad: 7:05 pm** _

_> And what is that?_

_**Noelle: 7:05 pm** _

_> skdjhfjdfhdjfhdhfkbsfhds _

Minutes went by before Noelle got another text from her father.

**_Dad: 7:10 pm_ ** __

_> Noelle I don’t even know what “skdjhfjdfhdjfhdhfkbsfhds” means._

_> That hurt my fingers to type that all out. _

Noelle wasn’t sure how to explain keysmashing to her dad. She tried typing out a paragraph of what it was, only to keep deleting it and rewriting it over and over… until a buzz came from her phone.

**_Dad: 7:12 pm_ ** __

_> OHHHH WAIT_

_> OH I REMEMBER WHAT THAT MEANS_

_> THAT’S WHAT GAY PEOPLE SAY!_

_> DID SOMETHING GAY HAPPEN? _

Noelle couldn’t contain her laughter. Her dad knew her too well. Despite him being older in age, he always seemed to try speaking in the younger kids’ tongue, which always went terribly. Oh well, at least he tried his best to relate to his daughter.

**_Noelle: 7:13 pm_ ** __

_> I uh…. hung out with susie lol_

_**Dad: 7:14 pm** _

_> WHAAAT?? _

_> Look at you, makin’ moves just like your dad did back in the day. (¬‿¬) _

Noelle rolled her eyes and blushed before typing in a response.

**_Noelle: 7:15 pm_ ** __

_> DAD._

_> like… yeah i like her but it wasnt like that! We were just hanging out as friends this time :)_

_> … and plus, everyone’s gotta start out somewhere lol _

She looked up from her phone to the alarm clock radio on her nightstand. She should probably eat before it got too late.

**_Dad: 7:16 pm_ ** __

_> Okay! I’m just trying to help u out!_

_> Anyways, I have to go. More tests and stuff. Hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow? When you’re not skipping school?_

_**Noelle: 7:17 pm** _

_> Ha ha very funny :P_

_> But yeah of course!! Hope you’re getting better soon! Bye! <3 _

 

And with that, Noelle set down the phone. She looked towards the stack of homework by her desk, and then back to the door. Maybe having dinner first would be the better option.

Her mind began racing as she made her way down the stairs and towards the kitchen. Everything that happened from the beginning of the day, dealing with Susie, the whole situation at the diner, her mother… There was just too much to take in.

For starters, she was still in awe that Fuku actually liked girls. For such a small town, she still was genuinely surprised that Fuku was able to find someone like that skateboarding girl. It made Noelle feel somewhat relieved, in the ‘maybe everybody here wasn’t as straight as she thought’ way. Maybe she’d talk to Fuku and let her know, besides Fuku’s girlfriend, she wasn’t the only non-straight girl in town. Just for solidarity, she thought. It would be easier to relate to them instead of pouring all of her girl problems onto her dad.

She would have tried to talk to her mother about it -- if she even bothered to listen to her. Noelle thought back to a few years ago, back to the time where she tried -- emphasis on tried -- to come out to her mother. Noelle remembered she had come back from a long day at work, and she thought that maybe it would be a good opportunity to come out, as it was one of the few times she got to meet her after work.

Noelle had tried greeting her mother, who was glancing over paperwork on the couch. She still remembered how shaky her voice was when she asked to talk to her -- how timid she was when she finally bit the bullet.

_“Mom, don’t get too upset at this, but... I… I think I like girls. I think I’m a lesbian.”_

Her mother hadn’t even bothered to look up from her paperwork as Noelle was trembling in front of her, anxiously awaiting a response. She only responded with a nonchalant _“Okay, sweetie. Can you go finish your homework now? I have a lot of paperwork to take care of.”_

After that incident, talking to her mother was out of the question when it came to matters like that. She never seemed to listen, unlike Noelle’s father.

Rudy Holiday was one of the most thoughtful and caring fathers Noelle could have wished for. If she had a problem, or something to talk about, he was always there. But sometimes, Noelle wondered, if he even truly understood the type of problems she went through. Her father was one of her best friends, but sometimes being able to talk to someone around their own age would help someone be able to relate more to a situation. Her thoughts were brought back to Fuku; maybe she could become better friends with her and that skateboarding girl.

Then again, who knows what rumors would spread if she got close to them. Noelle was still closeted; maybe it wouldn’t be such a good idea. That skateboarding girl did have a big mouth, and Fuku seemed fine with the friends that she already had.

She let out a sulk as she spooned a large chunk of leftover pasta into a bowl. Girl problems -- platonic or romantic -- were the last thing she wanted to be dealing with right now.

* * *

One word went through Noelle’s mind as the day came to a close: _sleep_. Today had been an adventure of its own kind, and god, did it wear her out. She didn’t even bother changing out of her dress before falling into the pile of quilts on her bed. That didn’t matter to her; what mattered was getting to bed so she could finish up her homework early in the morning-

BZZT. BZZT.

An alert from her phone jerked her awake. Who on earth would be texting her at this hour? Noelle groggily turned towards her nightstand, grabbing her phone. As soon as she turned it on, she was blinded by the brightness of the screen. 

_**Unknown number: 12:12 am** _

_> uh hey. this is susie._

 

Noelle jolted awake after reading the message. She didn’t actually expect for Susie to text her. _So much for getting sleep…_

 

_**Noelle: 12:13 am**  
> hey!! this is noelle!_

_> how are you!_

_**Susie: 12:13 am** _

_> pretty good :)_

_> hey i knwo it’s late but i had a lot of fun today! thanks for all that lmao_

_**Noelle: 12:14 am** _

_> yeah no problem!! I had fun too!_

_**Susie: 12:15 am** _

_> we should do that again sometime. You think u could hang out tomorrow? _

 

Noelle couldn’t contain her excitement. If Susie’s words made her blush every time she said something, Noelle was colored red from head to toe.

 

_**Noelle: 12:15 am** _

_> yeah, of course!!_

_> one condition: i’m not skipping class again, lol_

_**Susie: 12:16 am** _

_> aw damn, i was planning on dragging you out of class with me >>:)_

_**Noelle: 12:17 am** _

_> :O SUSIE NO_

_**Susie: 12:17 am** _

_> SUSIE YES!!!_

_> jdfhjd im just joking. I know you care abt your grades and shit. Maybe after class_

_**Noelle: 12:19 am** _

_> That’ll work!_

_> Anyways, I hate to end this conversation early but I gotta get some sleep. But I’ll see you tomorrow! Gn!_

_**Susie: 12:20 am** _

_> oh okay. sleep well :) _

 

For the first time in a long time, both girls ended up asleep with smiles plastered across their faces. It was an odd friendship, two monsters being near complete opposites of each other, but somehow, Noelle and Susie seemed to make it work right.


	2. back to the ordinaries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Susie begins to clean up her life (quite literally!), Noelle learns to deal with a clutter of her own -- alongside her father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"When all is over for this world,_   
>  _the love you showed her will save your soul."_
> 
>  
> 
> -the last dinosaur, "all my faith"

Spot closest item. Bend over. Pick up closest item. Throw item into basket. Rinse and repeat.

This cycle seemed to overplay in Susie’s head as she picked up the dirty laundry hanging around the living room of the small apartment. She was overdue to clean up, anyways. 

Not only that, but she wanted to repay Noelle for what happened last week, and she couldn’t ask her over with the apartment looking like a pigsty. Maybe invite her over for a movie, or a study session, or _something._

It had been a little over a week since Noelle and Susie had become friends. They began to hang out a lot more, and their diner outings had become more prominent. Even if Susie offered, Noelle always was the one that paid for food, no matter how big or small the meal was. Susie wished it wasn’t so... one-sided. She wanted to return the favor to her, too.

She was glad that Noelle was being more open and friendlier to her than most people were to Susie. It was a nice feeling having some friends that actually enjoyed her presence and hearing her talk. Way better than those so called “friends” who-

Her thoughts were interrupted by a guitar wail, crackling from an old speaker shoved in the corner of the room. With how loud the song was, it seemed to make the whole apartment complex shake. It didn’t seem to bother her hearing in the slightest, though. Susie turned her head to look at the speaker, spotting a maroon-colored hoodie draped over it.

A slight sense of relief filled her chest. She thought she had lost that one. Susie made her way to the speaker, picking it up and smoothing the material over with her fingers. It was still as soft as she remembered it to be. Maybe she could re-wear this for a few days or so before throwing it into the laundry. After struggling to fit the hoodie over her head, she managed to get it on and returned to cleaning up again.

The blaring rock music seemed to keep her moving on her feet as she hummed and syncopated her actions to the music. She didn’t understand how such a boring task had become entertaining to her, but hey, it was better than lounging around.

Spot closest item. Bend over. Pick up said item. Throw it in the basket where it belongs. Rinse and repeat.

Susie stopped in her tracks and let out a sulk. She had missed the laundry basket as she noticed a shirt she had thrown into the trash can by mistake. 

Walk over to trash can. Pick out the shirt. Throw it in the laundry basket.

And once again, she resumed the cycle of picking up laundry off every inch of the living room floor. 

The once cluttered room began to have a drastic change from its previous state an hour earlier. While she was groaning about having to do this chore then, Susie was actually having fun with it as the time passed. Who knew a deep cleaning session would make her so happy?

Or was she just thinking about the good things that happened a few weeks ago? Making new friends, going to the Dark World, changing her stereotypical ‘brooding bully” outlook? Either way, it felt nice to not be in such a loathing state all the time. 

Her thoughts were interrupted once again as she heard a loud knocking noise come from the front door. Susie let out another sulk. If this was the landlord, she didn’t want anything to do with them. She was busy, and one more little mishap might send her through the roof. 

She dragged her feet to the door and swung it open — causing the door’s handle to slam into the wall with a loud bang — only to be greeted by one of the neighbors from upstairs. She shot them a menacing glare as she towered over the shorter monster. Well, the glare wasn’t meant to be too menacing, just enough to get them to leave her alone for a while. Susie was not in the mood to make small talk with neighbors; she was already having a very therapeutic deep-cleaning session, and she wanted space.

“Hey…?”

The monster at the door began trembling, taking up time to pause in between each stutter. “Uh... heh… h-hello, Susie… G-good to… good to see you again…!”

Susie began to grow impatient with the monster’s failed attempt at small talk, and began tapping her foot as she leaned against the doorstep. “You need something?

“See, I- I was wondering if… about your… your music… if you could…”

Susie lifted a brow in confusion. “If I could… what? Wait, where are you going?”

Her neighbor had already run away screaming before they could finish their sentence.

Susie lifted a brow in response, muttering under her breath. “Oh, please, I’m not that bad.”

With her arms crossed, she stepped onto the porch with a sigh, looking around on the street. There wasn’t anything too new to see. The cloudy sky and the cramped apartment buildings took up most of her vision. 

Shifting her weight to her other leg, she heard a crinkling noise come from under her foot. Looking down, she spotted a pile of letters stacked in an unorganized fashion on the doormat. It wouldn’t be too good if these got rained on. She decided she might as well grab the mail while she was outside.

Susie began sorting through the mail the moment she picked the pile up, tearing through the envelopes like they were birthday presents.

Flyer for the school dance? _Junk._ Like _she,_ out of all people, would ever go. If she ever did choose to spend her time there, she’d probably just hang out by the snack table and stuff her face with cupcakes while watching everyone else try an attempt to dance. 

Advertisement for help wanted at the flower shop? _Definitely junk_. Kris’s father was a sweet guy, that was a given to everyone who had ever known him — with the exception of his ex-wife, of course — but Susie could foresee the awkward small talk and the attempts of trying to be “hip with the kids” if she went to get a job there. 

Halloween party? Sounded like fun, but hanging out with people from her class who hated her was not really the way she wanted to be spending her Halloween. She tossed the opened letters into the already overflowing trash bin, and began sorting through the mail again.

Advertisement for a new grocery store? _Junk-_ wait, she needed to go grocery shopping soon. Might be best to know the address for that one.

Overdue rent bill?

Eh, might be best to keep that one.

Another envelope caught her eye. She turned the envelope on its opposite side, noticing it was addressed to her brother. Being careful not to shred the envelope, she opened it with careful fingers, and peeked inside.

 _His paycheck_. She counted out the bills with wide eyes. With how many hours he’d been working, this would cover a _giant_ chunk of the missed rent. Only if he agreed to using the money for it, at least. 

Susie decided to call him about it later. Dealing with bills wasn’t really her thing, anyways. Her main goal for now was to just finish cleaning up the house.

Throwing the rest of the mail onto the kitchen counter, she resumed cleaning up, humming the bassline the old speaker seemed to enhance. 

She stopped in her tracks as she began to pick up a wrinkled shirt. Oh, right, _her music_. She should probably turn it down, just in case.

* * *

A flash of lightning made its way through the window, causing Noelle to look up from scribbling down the answers to her homework. The light bulb flickered. It looked like that storm wasn’t going to die down as fast as she thought. She tapped the end of her pen lost in thought against her cheek, resting one arm on her desk. In a sense, she found the storm hypnotizing to listen to. It wouldn’t bother her _too_ much to take a quick break. She stretched her arms as she stood up, releasing some of the built up tension she developed sitting down.

She walked over to the window to open the blinds, noticing leaves blowing past her as if it was a blizzard. With the wind howling in the back, it was… kind of peaceful. Maybe a little chaotic outside, sure, but there was something calming about it. A tingly sensation went up her back as she observed the storm from her window.

Noelle eyed the old record player sitting in the middle of the bookshelf of her room. A thin layer of dust covered the top. She might as well use it; an atmosphere like this called for some calming music. 

Walking over to the bookshelf, she began to sort through the records that were stacked in a pile located next to the dusty music player. Her fingers managed to find a vinyl that caught her eye. It pictured a human woman leaning against a windowsill decorated with lacy curtains. The album seemed to glow pink, like a sunset. This one, she thought, would definitely contribute to the ambience. She remembered her father was fond of it as she pulled the vinyl out of its sleeve.

Being ever so gentle to take out the record, she managed to place it on the music player. It had been forever since she had used this thing. Soon enough, after various tries to get it to work, the sound of a piano that seemed to crackle came from the music player. 

Noelle let out a sigh of relief, grabbing one of the many quilts hanging from her bed and wrapping herself in it as she watched the storm blow a blizzard of leaves past her window.

At first, she began to gently sway her head from side to side to the music as she observed the storm. Over the course of the song, it grew from swaying her head, to adding a small sway to her body, to a small four-step dance she began to do across the room. All with her quilt wrapped around her. Noelle may have thought her actions a bit silly, but it lightened the mood of the dark storm, keeping her at peace. After all, she was alone in the comfort of her room; it wasn’t as if anyone was watching her.

She wondered if Susie would like this song… Her mind began to wander, daydreaming scenarios. It began with a simple concept, them hanging out at the diner, offering each other nothing but soft smiles and playful banter… As the music played on, it brought more concepts along with it, of their hands brushing against each other while watching movies, of Susie laying her head on Noelle’s shoulder, of them dancing to soft music, her hands wrapped around Susie’s shoulders… looking into each other’s eyes, like nothing else but them were in the world, like it was all theirs… She wrapped the quilt tighter around her body as one of the songs faded out.

The little voice inside her head began to interrupt her daydream, spouting many variants of the phrase _“Wow, you’re acting PRET-TY gay right now, Noelle.”_ As if she didn’t know that already.

Her cheeks were still flushed as she noticed her phone buzz from the table. Noelle snapped out of the peaceful scenario she had created for herself, and trudged her way to her desk, turning on her phone. The color from her face had completely disappeared when she read who the message was from. 

She let out a sulk. _Berdly._

She had forgotten about the project. That was due in a few days, right? Noelle hoped he wouldn’t be too mad about her lateness with the assignment.

**_Berdly: 3:37 pm_ ** __

_> Hey. _

 

Seriously? What a way to kick off the conversation; _someone get this guy a doctorate in conversation skills_. Noelle put her phone down, scoffing and rolling her eyes. As soon as she placed it down, however, it buzzed again. 

 

**_Berdly: 3:37 pm_ ** __

_> Ahem. I know you read my text. Do you have any update on your side of the project? _

 

 _Jesus,_ this guy was going to get on her nerves fast. Noelle let out another sulk before sending out her attempt at a passive-aggressive reply.

 

**_Noelle: 3:38 pm_ ** __

_> dude, just because I look at your text doesn’t mean I have to reply immediately. please just be patient next time :)_

_> also, it’s going alright, I’m editing the draft for the report rn ! _

That was a huge lie. For the most part, she didn’t have a clue on what the topic for their project was. Berdly had given her very little information on it; all she knew was that it was some “dudebro” book, with some edgy emotional male protagonist.

**_Berdly: 3:39 pm_ ** __

_> Alright. Just bring it to me when you’re done. _

_> Is meeting up by the lake on Monday okay? I need to just double check everything before the class presentations start. _

 

Why would he want to meet up at the lake, of all places? Noelle sensed something off. She didn’t seem to dive too much into thought about it, though.

 

**_Noelle: 3:39 pm_ ** __

_> yeah, that’ll be fine i guess._

_**Berdly: 3:40 pm** _

_> Cool. See you then :) _

_Finally._ Noelle set down her phone, hoping this was the last time she’d have to talk to him, and tried her best to fall back into the little daydream world she had created before. It was like figuring out what part of a book she left off.

Nothing seemed to pull her back into those daydream sequences, though. She let out a disappointed sigh, laying herself on the rug on her floor, still wrapped up in her quilt. The soft piano crackling from the record player seemed to ease her mind. It helped her ignore the pestering thoughts swimming in the back of her head, even if they were there for just a short while.

Unfortunately for Noelle, that short while ended with another abrupt buzz from her phone. Except this time, somebody was calling her. Pushing herself off the floor with a grunt, she shot a glare at her phone. Noelle once again dragged herself to reach her phone, answering it with fake happiness leaking out of her voice.

“Hello?”

As soon as she spoke, Noelle was soon greeted with blaring rock music from the other line. She flinched, jolting her phone farther away from her ear.

“Shit, dude, I’m sorry, hold on a second-”

Oh, just Susie. Noelle’s attitude became more relaxed when she realized who she was talking to. She made an attempt to stifle a confused laugh.

After hearing quite a few crashes and Susie letting out an obscene amount of swears while apologizing to Noelle, the rock music soon began to fade into the background. Noelle heard her let out a sigh of relief on the other end of the line.

“Alright. There we go.”

“What in the world is happening over there?”

“Uh… cleaning. Cleaning is… happening.”

 _“Cleaning is happening?”_ Noelle snickered at her use of grammar. 

“Yeah. I’ve been, uh… due to clean up my apartment.” On the other end of the line, it sounded like Susie had flopped herself down on a sofa. “I needed some, like, loud music to clear my mind or whatever.”

Noelle plopped herself in her desk chair. A brief silence followed. “So, like… How are the neighbors taking that?” She wasn’t really sure what else to say. 

“Well, one of them went up to my door only to run away screaming.” She let out a breathy laugh. “So, yeah. They’re taking it pretty well.”

“Pfft, nice.” 

Another moment of silence followed, saved for the various songs droning in the background of their surroundings. Both of them weren’t sure what to contribute to the conversation. 

Susie was the first to speak up. “So, uh… how’s your… weekend going so far?”

Noelle began to spin herself around in her desk chair. “Uh, good, I guess. Mainly just been working on the school project.”

“Ohhh, _shit. The project…_ I still gotta work on that.” Susie let out a sharp inhale through her teeth. 

“Oof, you better get on it then soon! It’s not good to procrastinate, Susie.”

Susie let out a sulk. “Yeah, yeah, I know… but like, I got all this other shit to do. Not just like school shit, but like, Dark World shit, too. And it’s just… it’s a lot to take in.”

“Yeah, I could understand that. Well, if you ever need, like, help on school stuff, I’m always available to… y’know, like, do tutoring... or whatever.” Noelle’s words began to stutter at a gradual pace, and her face grew red. Why was asking to help out with this such an embarrassing thing to her? After all, friends help friends, right?

Noelle knew that it was a completely different circumstance when your friend feels a bit more than a friend. 

Susie’s words were quick, nonchalant, and straight to the point. “Yeah, thanks. That’d be cool.”

She didn’t know why, but it felt like a weight had been lifted off Noelle’s shoulders. She let out a sigh of relief, trying her best to be quiet so Susie wouldn’t hear.

Another brief silence followed.

“So, do you have a… certain time you need tutoring, or…?”

Susie interrupted her. “Oh, no no- I mean, not yet, anyways. But like, if I ever do, I’ll make sure to, y’know, let you know.”

“Ah. I see.”

This phone call was not going the way Susie hoped it would go. The awkward silences she caused only brought more embarrassment as the time passed. She began to pick at a chunk of the sofa that was starting to wear away. Bits of fuzz began to come out.

“Hey, uh, Noelle?”

“Yeah?”

Susie glanced over to the part of the couch she was picking on, twisting one of the pieces of fuzz in between her fingers. “Uh… The main reason why I called was because I… I wanted to say thanks.” Susie cringed a little at the way she changed the topic with, what felt like to her, such abruptness. 

A soft smile grazed Noelle’s face. “Yeah? For what?”

“Shit, dude, I mean… just everything that you’ve been doing so far. You’ve been so nice to me. Like, whenever we go to the diner, you always volunteer to pay, and just… I don’t want to feel like I’m not putting in effort, or whatever. So, I guess I wanna return the favor. For all of the shit you’ve done.”

Noelle was taken aback from the flattery. “Well, it-it’s no problem, really! I… really enjoy hanging out with you.”

“I, uh, kind of already have an idea.” Susie took a breath. “Would you like, wanna come over to my place and we could, like… watch a movie or something?”

Noelle froze for a brief moment due to excitement building up in her chest. Susie wanted for Noelle… _to hang out at her place._ To see a movie. Her thoughts began to rush, thinking of how an event like that could end up.

“But like, y’know. It’s totally up to you…We could always just go to the diner like always if you’re not really interested in it...” Susie muttered under her breath, worried about how she’d respond across the line. 

Noelle tried to bring herself back to her senses, stuttering through her sentences. “Y-yeah! Of course I’d love to! It- it sounds like fun!”

“You could like, even bring a movie over if you wanted to. Most of the movies I have might be too scary for you, heh.”

Noelle rolled her eyes in amusement. “Aw, please. I’m sure I could handle one.”

“Pfft, okay.”

“Hey, don’t doubt me! Horror may not be my genre, but… I’ll try it for you. Since you’re, yknow, repaying me, I guess…” Noelle mentally smacked herself in the face. How come the most casual sayings or gestures felt the most… flirty to her? She couldn’t come off too strong.

“Cool. You have any times that you’re free for a movie night?”

Noelle swiveled her chair back over to face her desk, grabbing her planner and flipping through the pages. “Hm… I’m checking right now.” Her eyes landed on a day, which was, to her surprise, completely empty. 

“I know this might be a bit late, but… I’ll most likely be available the seventeenth. Does that sound okay to you?

“In October?”

“Yeahhh…” Noelle felt twinge of guilt that it was farther into the future than she wanted it to be. “Again, I know that might be a bit late, but my schedule is _really_ packed. Also, that’s a teacher work day, so there’s no classes then.”

“Aw, shit, really?!”

“Yeah!”

“Well, then… the seventeenth it is!” Susie shrugged her shoulders a little bit as she confirmed it with Noelle.

“Cool! I.... I guess I’ll see you on Monday, then?”

“Yeah. Uh, thanks again, Noelle. It was… nice talking to you.” Susie seemed to draw out her sentence, a little unsure of how friends tended to say something like that over phone calls.

Noelle paused, trying to bring her voice to a softer tone so it wouldn’t crack. “Yeah, you too.”

It still managed to crack, just a little bit.

“A-and again, if you need any help with any schoolwork because of Dark World stuff? Just… just let me know, I guess. Y’know, just in case… Dark World stuff… happens...”

Noelle gave herself another mental smack in the face, noticing she had repeated herself.

“Pfft, yeah, alright. Later, Noelle.”

“Bye!”

Noelle was the first to hang up. She let out an exasperated sigh, releasing some tension from her shoulders. _It shouldn’t be this hard to talk to this girl._ She propped her chin up, leaning on her elbow. Her face was still hot to the touch, and it began to heat up degree by degree as she kept thinking back on the conversation. 

Susie wanted her over to see a movie. _At her place._

Noelle was excited, yes, but… unsure. Unsure of the possibilities that could come out of it. Her mind began to race, flooding with different ideas. Would it end up being some kind of… party thing? Or would it just… be like a simple outing? Just watching a movie, and that being all there was to it? 

Haha, _outing._ Noelle made a silent laugh at her choice of words.

Noelle’s train of thought came to a sudden halt. That actually didn’t seem like _too_ bad of an idea, now that she thought about it. Noelle was going to have to tell Susie one of those days. 

It was then when the record she had turned on came to a staticky halt. It was back to doing homework for her. She’d work on a plan to come out to her later.

* * *

Noelle knocked on the hospital door. She could hear her father call to her from the inside.

“It’s open!”

The door to the hospital swung open, and in walked Noelle toting a large black bag. Her face turned into a big, bright smile as soon as she stepped into the hospital room and began walking towards his bedside. She gave him a small wave.

“Dad! Hey!!”

Rudy held out his arms. “Noelle! It’s so good to see you again! Get over here!”

Noelle was in no position to object one of her father’s hugs. She placed the black bag that was slung over her shoulder down as carefully as she could, and leaned over the bed to embrace her father. Despite being fatigued, his hug gave Noelle a sense of protection.

As they released the embrace, Rudy began talking. “So, how’ve you been? _Besides_ doing homework?”

Noelle let out a breathy laugh. “You know me well, Dad.”

“Hey, I’m just saying it’s important to get out there! Being cooped up all the time gets boring as hell. I mean, look where I am!”

Noelle rolled her eyes out of humor. “OKAY, I know, I know. But I’m doing fine! Plus, it’s not like I’m _always_ doing homework. I mean, I do cross country, and student council. AND I hang out with friends and stuff.”

“Which friends?”

“Like, y’know, Catti, and Jockington, and Susie, and-”

Rudy interjected her, giving her a smug look. “You and Susie hang out now? _Even after all of your mom’s lashing out?_ ” He leaned closer towards Noelle, smirking even more. 

Noelle was covering her face with her hand. “Oh my god, dad, don’t give me that look! I feel like I’m talking to some middle school kid-”

“That’s kind of, if I may say… gay.”

Noelle cupped her face, trying to hide her flushed cheeks while letting out a laugh. “Wow. You got me there, dad. You got me.”

Noelle continued talking, trying not to let the conversation get awkward. “-But, uh, yeah, usually we’ll go to the diner and work on homework, or just talk. That’s basically kind of just what we do.”

Rudy laughed. “Well, sounds like you two are really hitting it off.”

“I mean, it’s really not that bad! We don’t do much outside of that, but she’s been a lot more open and talkative since I became her friend. I’m like, actually getting to know her.”

“Ah, well that IS important.” Rudy adjusted himself in the hospital bed, peering towards the bag Noelle had placed on the floor earlier. “So, what’s in that bag of yours?”

Noelle’s attention was brought to the bag, and she reached for it with excitement in her eyes. 

“Okay, so, remember when I was saying I wanted to finish Dragon Blazers III with you, and then YOU said I should bring it over? Well...” Noelle rummaged through the bag, and pulled out a controller with a big smile. 

Rudy’s expression almost matched Noelle’s when she handed him the controller. “Whaaat?! Are you serious?!”

Noelle’s grin got bigger. “I _would’ve_ brought over Super Smashing Fighters, but I was hoping maybe I could get your help with the temple I’m stuck on today…?”

“Uh, hell yeah?! Come on, hurry up and set up the console!”

She didn’t waste any time pulling the other controller, along with the cables out of the bag, and rushed to hook them up to the tiny console screen. Noelle managed to balance it at it the edge of the hospital bed, and walked over to the end of the room to grab a chair to join her father.

Rudy had a different idea in mind. “Oh, no you don’t. You won’t be able to see a thing from that chair.” He began to nudge his way towards one side of his bed. “Sit here.”

Noelle let out a scoff. “Dad, no, I’m not doing that.”

Rudy began to over-exaggerate, talking to his daughter in a sarcastic, whiny tone. “Come oooon, Noelle!”

“I don’t think that we can both fit on that-”

“Pleeeease, Noelle…. Pleeeease…”

“Would that even be safe?”

“Noelle, stop being a buzzkill!”

Noelle let out a sigh of defeat. “All right, _fine._ ” She walked over to the bed, sitting down and propping her legs up.

She was right. They both couldn’t fit on the bed.

“This is _really_ uncomfortable.” Noelle found half of herself hanging from the bed. 

Rudy let out a laugh. “You’ll get used to it.” He handed her one of the controllers as the startup jingle began to play from the screen. “You wanna be player one?”

Noelle declined the offer, shaking her head. “Well, I was thinking you could-“

“Oh, no, I _insist,_ ” Rudy interjected, shoving the controller into her hand and patting it. He adjusted himself in his seat, muttering jokingly to himself. “Get it? ‘Cuz you’re _such_ a player?”

Noelle rolled her eyes, nudging her dad in the arm.“ _Dad,_ oh my _god._ I swear, your comments are gonna throw me off guard and make me lose the level.” 

In response, Rudy let out a short, hearty laugh, throwing his head back onto the pillow. Much to his surprise, a congested cough followed the laugh before he had a chance to exchange a humorous comment. He turned his head the opposite way as he tried to gasp for air. 

As Noelle began to comprehend the situation unfolding in front of her, she began to tense up with worry, and dropped her controller without bothering to pause the game. As she turned towards her father, struggling to catch his breath, she leaned towards him, being ever so careful as she placed a hand on his back. Her breath became shaky, and her eyes started to fill with tears.

In much light for both of the Holidays, Rudy’s attempt to catch some air became a more simpler task, as his wheezing began to die down. Noelle felt a slight sense of relief, but still filled with worry on what would happen next. Her heart rate began to slow as her father adjusted himself back into his bed, letting out a deep sigh. A disappointing eight-bit jingle played as a bright red “GAME OVER” flashed on the screen.

Noelle noticed her hands were still shaking. “D-Dad? Are... you doing better?”

Rudy took in a shaky, deep breath before responding with a slight smile cracked on his face, with the rasp in his voice growing lower the more he talked. “Yeah. I think so.” He placed his hand over Noelle’s shaky one, trying to calm her down.

“You know I’m gonna be alright, okay?”

Noelle nodded, a few tears spilling from her eyes. 

“That’s… that’s never happened to you before.” She bit her lip, trying her best to control her breathing, trying to avoid crying more.

To Rudy, it felt like his heart crumbled seeing his daughter’s face. For being such a scared person all her life, he’d never seen her in a more heartbroken state that she was in before. 

To Noelle, Rudy had always been the closest friend in her life. He was the one who protected her from everything that terrified her since the day she was born, as well as being one of her biggest supporters. He would go through it all again if he could. But Rudy realized that Noelle’s biggest fear had potential to lie in arms’ reach, and yet, he couldn’t be there to protect his daughter when it would begin to hit.

Trying to ignore the pang from his chest, he pulled her in for an embrace, laying Noelle’s head on his shoulder as he hushed her.

“Hey... Listen to me. You know I’m going to be alright, okay?” 

Rudy felt a slight head movement from Noelle, and assumed it was a nod. 

“And you know that these doctors, they’re gonna get me out here as soon as they get everything done?” 

Rudy felt a few of her teardrops fall onto his hospital gown, and he hugged her tighter. Silence followed, save for the eight-bit jingle playing from the video game console and the hitched breaths coming from Noelle. A few moments passed as a slight murmur came from her.

“I… I just don’t want you to be gone, y’know?”

 

Rudy sighed, rubbing her back. “I do, honey. But I’m not going _anywhere_ except out of this hospital. Once they help me get better, of course.” He squeezed her a bit tighter as he emphasized his words. “And you know I’m _always_ going to be there for you as long as you need me to.”

“... I hope so.”

They stayed in the embrace, not bothering to utter a word. The two waited, basking in the feeling of longing for wellness; they’d try to take the efforts to be brave -- one of the most difficult things for the both of them. Rudy had told Noelle before that “a little courage could go a long way”, but it seemed to be fading -- for the both of them.

It was just up to them to find the determination to gain it back again.

Rudy was the first to break the silence. The time to sit in one another's feelings needed to be saved for another day.

“Hey, Noelle?”

Noelle lifted herself off her father’s shoulder, tilting her head.

Rudy picked up his controller. “You still wanna finish up that ice temple, or am I going to have to hear that annoying-ass eight-bit tune play over again for the millionth time?”

Noelle snickered, letting out a snort as she laughed. She adjusted herself onto the bed, grabbing her controller with a gleam of determination in her eyes.

“You’re on, Dad!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW i am!! SO sorry this took so long. for those of you who don't know -- i was in the hospital for a week with no contact to the outside world so over the past month i have been making up TONS of work. but THANKFULLY i was able to finish. and boy. oh lordy. it is HERE babey!!
> 
> i'm not gonna lie though, at the time i posted the first chapter, i was in an extremely dark place. now im not going to get too personal, but that hospital visit really did change my life. i have more energy, i'm on meds now, i feel just overall happier!! and again, i wanna thank you all for being so patient w/ me.
> 
> if you wanna stay updated w/ me and my work, here's my server! : https://discord.gg/yqWCCnc
> 
> anyways, song of the chapter!! https://youtu.be/rPHOMWD0Tac - Please give this a good listen. <3
> 
> i've never really written anything like this, but after putting what i went through recently, i feel it necessary to add that if you're ever dealing with mental health issues, or if you find yourself in a mentally dark place, speak up and talk to someone who can help support you. do some research, find help. and if you need to, call the national suicide prevention hotline (1-800-273-8255) if you ever feel in a mentally dark area. i love you guys so much; thank you again for reading.


	3. the chivalric code, according to monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of October can mark a lot of different events. It’s the period of autumn starting to burst into full bloom, as the leaves grow vibrant shades of gold and scarlet, and the wind grows a crisp bite as it blows past the people who take it in. For students, it can mean homework — along with stress — piling up as the school year starts to gain traction. It’s also the time where the hype for the holiday season begins to build up as the year starts its descent into its end.
> 
> To a few of the resident monsters of Hometown, that wasn’t necessarily how they felt as the month came to its beginning. 
> 
> It felt almost… unaccepting.
> 
> [ Trigger warning for homophobic language + violence. ]

There’s something peaceful about waking up on one’s own early in the morning. Not only does one have more time to get ready, but they can take in the morning sunrise, watching the orange light spill over the land as it paints a warm glow. As autumn begins to make its way after summer passes, however, the sun seems to have a dimmer, colder tone to it as it rises. It shows a definite contrast between sunrises during the spring and summer months, as they almost symbolize growth as the air begins to grow warmer and warmer.

But that’s not to say that there’s no growth in the colder months, of course; in fact, there’s plenty of opportunity for it then.

Noelle was lucky to wake up early that October morning — and even more lucky for her, a whole two hours before her alarm was supposed to go off. It would give her time to stretch and finish up any last minute assignments that were due soon. She always seemed to enjoy moments with extra free time — there wasn’t too much of it in her life. Watching the dim light of the sun pass through her curtains as it ascended higher helped her get up and moving in a gradual state. Noelle never knew why, but quiet moments that seemed almost frozen in time like that seemed to send tingles down her spine. Almost like she could relax forever…

However, Noelle knew time flew by fast, and she’d need to get moving. She sighed, breaking the silence as she shuffled out of her sheets and onto the carpet. While getting ready and finishing up any extra work was a priority on her plate, getting a drink of water was the first thing that came to her mind. Not only would she feel more awake, but her throat felt like the equivalent to a desert, and she needed something to reverse that feeling.

Dragging herself out of the comfort of her bedroom, Noelle made her way downstairs. She reminded herself on the slipperiness of the wooden stairs, gripping the railing as she began to make her way down. In her groggy state, it would be almost impossible to not make a little slip-up walking down; to her, it was like those stairs were waxed on the daily. But of course, everyone has their faults, and Noelle’s heel landed on the wrong part of the stairs, causing her let out a quick gasp as her foot slipped. She was lucky she kept herself close to the railing, and managed to catch herself — just in the nick of time. Noelle let out a sigh of relief, descending her way down the staircase — slower that time.

She shuffled to the kitchen area, making a beeline towards the counter. Noelle didn’t seem to be watching where she took her steps as she bumped into her mother, who was sipping on her morning coffee right in Noelle’s tracks.

“Why, you’re up early.” 

Noelle let out an apologetic laugh, rubbing her head. 

“Morning to you too, Mom. Sorry, I just needed a glass of water.” 

She made her way towards an adjacent cabinet and opened it, revealing an array of various drinking glasses. Noelle chose one at random, grabbing a tall glass with intricate snowflake designs near the base.

“Well, you know, hydration is important… but at five in the morning?” Her mother lifted a brow, bringing her coffee cup back to her mouth again.

“Well, my brain decided that I should wake up _two hours_ before my alarm today.” She nudged her way past her mother, making her way towards the sink and turning on the tap. The sound of rushing water filled the cup, causing the sound to go up in pitch.

“Oh, lord, I know _that_ feeling.”

“Well… I don’t know about you…” Noelle took a sip of her water, copying her mother’s actions. “I like it when that happens. Gives me more time in the day to finish stuff, y’know?”

“I can understand that.” Her mother turned her head to look at the grandfather clock shoved into the corner of the kitchen. Realizing the time, she began dumping the rest of her coffee into the sink and rushed towards the door, grabbing her belongings along the way. 

“Uh, Noelle, I lost track of the time, but you know what to do, alright?” She smoothed out her jacket before picking up a briefcase next to the door. “Make sure you get home before seven. And call me if you need anything!”

“Bye, Mom!”

Noelle’s mother was already rushing out the door when she called out to Noelle for one last request. 

“And don’t forget your keys this time! Love you!”

With that, the door came to a slam, and Noelle was the only one left in the Holiday household. She let out a breathy chuckle. _Good tip, Mom._

It was nice to see her mother up around the house. Most of the time, Noelle would wake up in an empty house, with her mother already out the door and at work. On some occasions, her mother would come home early to pick up something at the house that she had forgotten; other times, a note would be stuck to the fridge or strewn about on the counter, asking her to finish a chore, or run an errand. 

It was quite rare that Noelle got to see her mother out of the workplace, save for a few late hours in the evening when she arrived back home — much less, have a decent conversation with her. There was a definite distance between them that Noelle was uncomfortable with — and she hoped one day there would be a time where that could change for the better.

Noelle made her way towards the refrigerator, searching for something to eat. One positive about getting up early was that she’d have some time to eat a real meal. Rummaging through the shelves, she pulled out various fruits that she’d prepare for breakfast. In her opinion, it was much better than having to grab something out of her lunch bag to hold her stomach over until the next time she could eat.

* * *

There was something rejuvenating about that morning. Noelle didn’t know if it was the fact that it was the beginning of a new month, greeted by crisp air clashing with the feeling of warm sun rays, or the fact that she had woken up quite that morning, getting to accomplish more than usual. She had finally finished editing the final paper for her and Berdly’s monthly presentation, and had printed it out, clutching it in her hands. 

Noelle glanced down at the printed sheets of paper, scanning the inked letters for any unnoticed flaws. Berdly was picky about grammar — and he could get aggressively condescending about it if something as basic as the _punctuation_ was all wrong. It was almost nerve-wracking to her as Noelle walked down the street towards the lake, walking around the puddles from the previous rainfall a few days ago. Despite the murky water that made up the puddles, the gleams from the autumn sunrise added a bit of beauty into something that would usually seem dull. 

As she made her way by Asgore’s flower shop and towards the lake, she felt a bit of discomfort build up in her body, letting out a shudder. There was something about Berdly that just… creeped Noelle out. He never knew why he always wanted to partner with her, and she was too big of a pushover to not oblige. Noelle understood Berdly was an overachiever when it came to academics — a similar characteristic that Noelle had, as well — but why was she picked to be his partner? And why _every time?_

Something was just so… offsetting about him. 

The small park by the lake seemed to be dripping with as much murkiness as Noelle’s mood. Soggy mud grass managed to get stuck to the bottoms of Noelle’s feet as she trudged her way towards the park benches. With every continuing step, a sense of annoyance and dread began to sink in. On top of that, it didn’t help Noelle’s mood in the slightest to see that the sun had faded into the clouds. _So much for that sunrise,_ she thought. 

She approached one of the park benches where Berdly had placed his book bag and other various papers. He gave a small wave towards Noelle with a blank expression, hunching over to stare with intent at another piece of homework almost immediately after. 

His voice was rather unpleasant to the ears. It sent uncomfortable waves up her back with every snooty accent he could fit into his tone. It never helped the fact that his voice had a strangely unnatural crack inserted into it, making Noelle flinch every time she heard it, either. 

“Hey, Noelle. I assume you have the paper?”

Noelle approached the table with discomfort, cringing as she handed the written part of the project to him. “Hey, uh… yeah. Here’s the finished portion for the project.”

Berdly looked up from his other assignment, pushing up his glasses in an odd manner. He seemed to rush to tilt his head up, and held out his hand. With caution, Noelle placed the papers into the open hand.

“If you wanna go over grammar or something… I know you’re picky with that, and all.” Noelle pulled her arm back, adjusting the straps of her backpack on her shoulders. 

No answer. Berdly grabbed the papers, and began to scribble edits onto the paper as soon as his eyes met the inked letters. 

Berdly looked up towards Noelle, murmuring inaudible speech as he adjusted himself from his hunched position. 

“This paragraph’s pretty good. However, you missed some commas right here, in this sentence.” He pointed the end of his pen in different locations of a sentence. 

“We can’t look like we came out of 'run-on sentence city', you know.” Berdly let out a scoff, seeming pleased with his unfunny joke. 

Noelle rolled her eyes, mumbling out loud. “Oh. Didn’t realize I was here to get grammar tutoring.”

Berdly scoffed. “Hey, you only know I work on this so cohesively because I care about my grade point average!”

“Oh, God. It’s just an essay! Alphys won’t care if it has tiny mistakes in it, anyway!”

“I need this to be perfect, okay?”

“Not every piece of schoolwork is gonna be perfect, Berdly.”

“To me, it has to be.”

“Oh, _I’m sorry,_ my paper isn’t up to your standards, then?”

“You know? I doubt it is, Noelle.”

She scoffed. Noelle’s anger was no longer able to be concealed. However, the look on her face didn’t show anger. On the contrary, it showed a feeling of disappointment, her jaw trembling. His commentary from previous assignments they had partnered on together had reached its breaking point.

She remembered the first time Noelle and Berdly had partnered up on a project. Even from the beginning, he was picky about grammar. 

_“No, no. You got it all wrong. It’s not ‘whoever the reader chooses’, it’s ‘whomever’.” Berdly let out a scoff. “I mean, it’s only simple grammar.”_

To her, at first, it just seemed a little annoying, sometimes even thought of as a joke. Noelle would often just roll her eyes and let out an apologetic laugh.

_“Oh, of- of course. My bad. I’ll get it right next time.”_

However, month after month passed, and the constant grammar checks given to her by Berdly on every report grew tiresome. Noelle never seemed to realize his nit-picky corrections began to affect her performance with schoolwork, as well. How many late nights she spent sulking at her computer, looking for every imperfection in a report she’d have to do with Berdly, she couldn’t even begin to count.

Why, even that morning she had stared at the report with an intense look in her eyes — so intense it could have set fire to the paper — pacing around her bedroom with worry that it might not be as good as Berdly would have wanted it.

As passive as she seemed, she had to bite back.

“God, Berdly. You don’t have to be so… so damn condescending about that.”

Noelle’s clenched fists began to shake. “I- I worked my _head off_ on these assignments — on a book I have absolutely NO idea about, because you never gave me any information about it, for that matter — and what response do I get from you? That it’s not good enough, again?”

Taking in a sharp breath, she stomped away from the picnic table.

“You never seem to take into consideration about how I feel about this. I’ve lost count of how many times my part of the project doesn’t meet up to your standards. And... sorry I’m not living up to your expectations. Especially for a stupid essay like this.”

Her stomps soon turned into quiet steps as she walked away from the picnic table, filled with a feeling of disappointment that weighted her down with every step. Much to her surprise, she was stopped with an unexpected response that she never thought she’d hear out of him. 

“Wait... It really bothered you that much?”

Noelle turned her head, only to spot a slightly ashamed Berdly, glancing away.

“I… I don’t know. I always assumed I was just trying to help out, y’know?”

Noelle could only do so much as to give a slight nod.

“I… never realized.” Berdly looked up, trying his best to stare at her in the eyes, despite the embarrassment weighing him down. “I- I’m sorry.”

With hesitance, Noelle took a step forward. “I don’t know, it’s just… that kind of stuff really gets to me. Especially when it’s constantly being said to me.”

Berdly nodded. “I… I think I understand that now. I should’ve been less… rude about it.”

He paused, crossing his arms and contemplated. 

“I have a better idea for future projects — I think it would be easier on the both of us if you work on the rough draft next time, and then I can finalize it. That way, I can edit what I need to without having to make you worry about all the mistakes.”

Noelle raised an eyebrow. “AND you can clue me in to what the project is actually about, instead of giving me basic information about it.”

Berdly raised his hand to the nape of his neck out of more embarrassment. “Yeah… Sorry about that, too. That wasn’t really wise, on my part.”

“You’re right about that.” Noelle snickered, holding out her hand. “Shake on it?”

Berdly nodded in agreement, grabbing Noelle’s and shaking it.

To Noelle, it was one of the weakest handshakes she had ever received from anyone. Despite the lack of the handshake, there was a hint of sincerity in it — one that she could trust if she partnered up with him next time.

“You wanna… sit down and look over the project one more time?” Berdly gestured to a bench on the picnic table.

Noelle glanced over at the bench. Not only was it dripping with rainwater, moss and cobwebs that managed to survive the rainstorm were stringed across the bench -- in the holes and all. Glancing down at her clothing, she realized that it would not be a good mix if she decided to sit. She grimaced, a confused yet amused expression adorning her face.

Noelle laughed. “Uh, yeah, I think I’ll stand for now.”

* * *

Despite her sleep schedule being completely messed up, a cold draft from the window served as Susie’s alarm clock that morning. Opening her eyes and shoving her matted hair right out of them, she found herself lying on top of a made bed. It was a different environment for her, seeing all the blankets and pillows still intact on her bed. For the most part, her sheets and duvet would end up being shoved off the bed by the time she woke up. To her, she could have sworn she woke up in a different universe.

She didn’t seem to question why she woke up from the cool draft. After all, wearing a tee shirt and a pair of boxer shorts isn’t the best substitute for something like a blanket. 

Neither were the piles of homework scattered around her on top of the bed. 

Pushing herself off the mattress, Susie grabbed one of the papers that had surrounded her in her sleep, glancing over it as fast as she could in her fatigued state. Her eyes landed on Kris’s name in the corner of the paper, and Susie seemed to spring off the mattress when she came to the sudden realization. 

Their monthly project was due today. 

Susie was lucky she hadn’t procrastinated on it, like she would often. In fact, she had put a lot of work into it this time. The only problem that occurred to her was finding the right pages — as well as organizing them in order. And good lord, was she going to have a problem with that, given the amount of missed homework assignments that were strewn about the bed. 

Susie let out a sigh, gathering the papers into a single pile in front of her. It seemed like all she’d been doing lately was cleaning or organizing. 

Still, Susie kept an open mindset that all the progress she made was going to make a difference. In a sense, it had; a task as small as cleaning the apartment had helped her feel more accomplished. To her, it just wasn’t something she was used to. 

Thankfully for her, it was a step for Susie to be able to come out of her comfort zone, as silly and common as the tasks were.

* * *

“Yeah, I think that’ll do it!”

To her surprise, Noelle had grown to enjoy working with Berdly on the project, despite their time working alongside each other had only been for a short time. She hadn’t expected to be laughing so hard at his jokes, or even more, correcting Berdly on his own mistakes. Even he seemed to be surprised at his own manner. Sure, he was still the pompous person from before, but he wasn’t all _that_ bad, Noelle thought. 

Berdly got up from the picnic table, ruffled the papers together into one neat stack, and held it up. “I’m not gonna lie, it looks and sounds great. I wouldn’t be surprised if we passed it with flying colors.”

“Neither would I!” Noelle let a smile plaster on her face. “To be honest, I was a little hesitant on what you’d think of it, y’know, with your whole spiel with editing and all…”

Berdly reached to rub the back of his neck. “Heh, yeah, I did go kind of overboard with that in the past, didn’t I…”

Noelle laughed, nodding. “Yeah. But hey, look how it turned out when we both agree on certain aspects. You have a lot of great ideas, and, y’know, I’m glad we were able to come to agreements on different parts!”

Berdly felt obligated to return the compliment, welling up with sheepishness. “Oh, wow… thanks… I- I’m really glad you told me, though. You had a lot of great ideas as well. And… I’m really glad I got to see your input on those things. I never realized it bothered you so much at first, so thanks for letting me know.”

“Don’t worry about it! It’s just… sometimes that kind of stuff can get to me. I’m glad we were able to come to a compromise on it, though.” For once, Noelle felt complete assurance when talking to him. 

“You’re really smart for a girl, you know. You should be proud of yourself. I… I know I am.”

Noelle felt a slight pang in her chest of inferiority.

_For a girl?_

Oh well. That probably wasn’t how he meant to word it, she thought. She turned around and took the compliment with a grin. 

“Aww, well, thank you. That’s really sweet!”

Noelle picked her backpack off the picnic table. Droplets of water trailed behind it as it made its way onto her back again. 

“Well, I guess I’ll see you in class, Berdly!”

Noelle waved to him, and begin to set foot away from the lake, and towards the main road. She was careful to not let her feet sink into the puddles in the mudded-out grass. 

Except, to her, something was off. 

She could feel Berdly’s eyes burning a hole into her back, as he watched her trail off. It felt almost as if she were an ant under a magnifying glass, trying to be set on fire. His gaze felt painful the longer she walked. 

Noelle sighed, approaching Berdly once more. She remembered to take precautions, stepping around the puddles. “Um… Was there something else you needed?”

Berdly seemed to be frozen, in an uncomfortable state. As much as he tried, there was no way he could wipe away the nervous countenance plastered on his face. 

“Y...yeah. Well, I mean, I wanted to- to let you know I- I…”

Noelle seemed puzzled. “Are… are you okay?”

His attitude changed in an instant, going into a state of denial, as he tried to play it off. Badly. Crossing his arms, he turned his head, laughing and sputtering it off. 

“No, yeah, yeah, I’m fine! Just… I… I zoned out for a little bit, s-sorry. Yeah. Just zoning out.”

“I… see.”

A moment of awkward silence dwelled before them, Noelle giving Berdly a confused look. 

Berdly let out a scoff. “W-well. I’m… not too good of a liar, huh…”

“Lying?” Noelle’s confusion built up more. “What… what are you lying about?”

Berdly began to freeze up again. “Well… I mean… I didn’t just invite you to the lake to finish up the project together. I brought you here, um… mainly because… because…”

“Because what?”

Berdly let the truth fly out of his mouth, hitting Noelle smack in the head. 

“I… I think we should- I’d like go out together. On, um… a date.”

_Oh._

Was that, Noelle thought, the reason why he wanted to partner up with her every time?

Was she never really smart to him? Did he only just see her as a love interest, rather than a friend and a good half of a team?

Noelle wanted to scoff at the thought of the real reason. Discomfort seeped through her body, realizing the true reason why she met up with him. 

“I’ve liked you for a long time,” Berdly continued, “and… and I’d like to get to know you better. I think we’d make a… a great couple, seeing how we’ve partnered on projects for so long.”

Noelle cringed upon hearing the sentence. She took a deep breath.

“Um, Berdly, that’s… very flattering… but I’m not really interested. I’m sorry.”

All Berdly could let out was a simple “oh”, averting his gaze away from Noelle.

Noelle tried to cheer him up, not wanting to get sad, or worse — furious. “I’m sure there’s a girl out there who’s going to love to be with you, though. You’re a really nice person, and you deserve a great girlfriend. I just don’t think I’m one of them. Sorry.”

There was a silence between the two. 

Berdly broke the silence, bringing his head up once more. 

“... But, why?”

“I… I already told you. I’m not really interested in you romantically.” Noelle shrugged her shoulders. “Sorry.”

“But… Can’t you just give me a chance?”

Noelle grimaced. How many times was she going to have to reject him before he got the clue?

“I just said, I’m not interested, okay?”

“I bet you already have a boyfriend, don’t you?” Berdly pointed at her, accusations filling his head. “Is that why?”

Noelle scoffed. With how much he was making her grimace, she could swear there were snakes in her body. “No, I-”

“I can be way better than any guy you'd _ever_ wanna go out with, anyways. If you just gave me a chance, you’d be able to see that!”

Noelle rolled her eyes. “I already told you, _I’m not interested._ ”

The bickering began to grow louder and louder, with Berdly trying to persuade her at one end of the conversation, and Noelle rejecting at the other.

“But if you just gave me a chance-”

“Can’t you just _listen?_ ”

“I’d treat you way better, anyways-”

“Why can’t you just take 'no' for an answer?”

“I can show you! Just give me a chance-”

Noelle scoffed, her head pounding with annoyance. “God, Berdly, why don’t you GET it? You’re not going to. Just stop asking me.”

Berdly was still determined to convince her. “Listen, I’ll show you! I know you don’t believe me, but-”

Noelle had had enough. 

“For the last time, it’s a NO, Berdly. I’m a _lesbian._ ”

Becoming aware of what she had let slip from her mouth, she froze, eyes going wide.

_Shit._

_Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit...._

Did that… really come out of her mouth?

Maybe repeating that in her head after hearing every accusation caused her to act out on her instincts. Still, Noelle was shocked that the real answer had been let out, covering her mouth out of reflex.

There was a pause. Noelle couldn’t hear anything except for her breathing, gradually becoming unstable, and her heart pounding in fear and anticipation.

“...You’re a _lesbian?_ ”

Noelle could hear the disgust roll off Berdly’s tongue as he enunciated the end of his sentence. 

She couldn’t respond. Her brain began overflowing with regret and shame, scolding her conscious for letting the secret slip. 

Berdly let out a scoff. “I should’ve known.” He turned his head, giving a nasty glare to her. “You’re all the same. Not to mention, _picky_ , too.”

“Berdly, please stop. You’re overreacting about this.”

“I bet you’re only gay because you’ve never had a boyfriend before, you know. It makes sense. You’re just being selfish, so nice guys like ME can suffer. I bet that’s it, huh?”

As much as Noelle tried to remain calm, her fists shook with anger and fear. Holding her head down, she tried not to show any sign of a negative emotion. “No, you’re taking this all the wrong way. Please-”

“Yeah. You’re probably just one of those attention seekers. You probably just do this all to get guys’ attention, just to let them down. And you know what? I don’t need that.”

Holding the title paper of the project with one hand, he began to rip off Noelle’s name at the top of the paper, crumpling it into a ball, and dropping it in a puddle near him. 

Noelle was in a state of disbelief. 

“Dude, that’s our _project_. Are you seriously going to take it out over the fact that I rejected you? Give it a rest.” 

Noelle walked over to the puddle, squatting down and pulling out the paper with two careful fingers and a disgusted expression. “Really, this is ridiculous. It’s not that big of a-”

Before she could say anything, she was immediately greeted with a kick to her eye, sending her backwards and drenching her backside with remnants of the moist ground. 

Noelle sat up, disheveled and shocked. She held her eye, still stinging from the kick. 

“Are... you _kidding_ me?!”

Berdly looked down on her, with a hideous glare. “It’s because I don’t need some selfish _queer_ helping me with my work.”

Noelle, unable to speak, was filled with a mix of emotions, and stinging tears began to fill her eyes to the brim. Shame, hurt, and shock may had filled her body, but there was a sadness deep inside of her that just longed for some kind of acceptance. 

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a project to turn in. And I don’t need any more help from someone like you.”

Noelle let out a sigh, pushing herself off the ground. How was she going to make up a project as important as this?

More importantly, how was she going to present herself to class that morning, with her backside covered in dirt?

The sound of sudden shouting behind her made her lose her train of thought. She whipped her head around, watching the scene unfold… only for her blood to grow cold, as her eyes drew towards the scene.

“-The _hell_ are you doing to her?!”

“C… can you please let go of me?”

Noelle was in disbelief. While she had frozen in shock before, the blood sure didn’t mind warming up her cheeks as she saw her.

Susie stood only feet away, grabbing Berdly by the collar as he dangled from her hand.

“You think you can just do shit like that to her?” Susie gave him a little shake, causing various school supplies to fall off him like precipitation.

Berdly, on the other hand, was struggling for his breath. The pressure coming from his collar was pushing into his neck. “I… I don’t know… what you’re talking about.” He gasped for breath of air.

Susie’s grip only got tighter the more he lied. “Don’t think I didn’t hear what you said to her, dumbass. _People like you disgust me._ ”

“You didn’t hear anything-” Berdly’s sentence was cut off by another gasp of air.

“Listen to me.”

As he was lifted higher off the ground, he began to kick his feet, trying to squirm out of her iron grip.

Susie, on the other hand, was not having it. Her expression began to drip with a furious intensity, giving off a blood-hungry countenance that would mortify anyone that dared to look her in the eye. 

“ _Stop struggling and listen to me._ ”

Berdly came to a cold stop, as he met eyes with Susie’s.

“Don’t you ever lay another hand on Noelle again. And don’t EVER talk to her like that again, either. Understand?”

Berdly was unable to elicit a response.

“I said, _do you_ understand me, _birdbrain?_ ”

No response the second time, either.

Susie had had enough of her patience being tampered with. With no time to lose, she did what she thought was the most logical response to give — by chucking him as hard as she could into a bush near the forest.

Without relying on its wings, it was one way to make a bird fly.

As he sped through the air, more school supplies attached to him flew off his person and into the air. Pencils flew like daggers, papers began to float down — similar to some of his feathers, which had also managed to fly off him. 

Landing in the bush with a loud crunch, some of its leaves decided to join the precipitation of some of the school supplies and flew off. Who knew what state of living Berdly was in now…

With a huff, Susie glared with a vengeful look in her eyes at her work. She began to brush her hands of the whole affair off her jeans. She hoped that _that_ would make him understand. If it didn’t, then… well, she wouldn’t mind showing him worse the next time. Susie had much more energy where the previous bunch came from.

As Susie turned to Noelle, who had been watching the entirety of the confrontation, her expression changed in an instant, approaching her with caution and care. 

“Hey, are you alright?”

Noelle didn’t know what to say.

She was breathless, her heart pounding in her chest.

It was like she began seeing Susie in a new light. Something had changed in Noelle as she looked her over.

Sure, her heart may have skipped a beat or two when Susie would push the hair out of her eyes, or she’d let out a low, rumbling laugh, yet something about this was different.

Some of the things Noelle had done in the past for Susie was just to impress her — sneaking out of class being a main example. Between the two of them, there wasn’t much of a distance as there was before. They were familiar with each other now.

Since the two became acquainted, she found it easier to interact with Susie. While, yes, there were some times where she’d fluster up after saying something a bit too much, or lose her train of thought from thinking too much of the possibilities of what could happen between them, it felt more of a normality to communicate than it did before. There was that sense of friendship between the two now, that sense of trustworthiness that had joined them together.

A sense of closeness. 

This wasn’t just some small crush on the girl from school any longer.

It was so, so much more than that now. 

“Noelle?”

Noelle snapped back to her surroundings, realizing her current situation. She looked up at Susie, letting a wry smile on her face grow as she held back some tears. 

“Yeah.” Noelle was unable to conceal her emotions. Tilting her head down, she brushed a tear away from her eye. “Thank you.”

As much as she was afraid to admit it, she was nervous, exposing emotions she thought to be vulnerable to show. She held her breath, trying to not let any more tears fall. 

Thankfully for her, it wasn’t out of fear, or out of hurt. They were out of happiness. Out of gratitude. 

Maybe deep down, there was some love intertwined with all those emotions that caused her to cry.

“Are you sure? You’re… you’re crying.”

“No, no, it’s just…” Noelle sniffled. “I’m just… really happy that you did that, ‘s all. Thank you.”

A slight grin appeared on Susie’s face as she sighed in relief, causing her sharp teeth to glisten.

Feeling the dirty water seep through her shirt, she let out a shudder. 

“Um, I think I might have to run home and change really quick. Berdly kinda kicked me into the dirt there.”

“I think you’re gonna need an ice pack while you’re at it, too.” Susie pointed at Noelle’s eye, the one Berdly had kicked before she stepped in. “Your eye’s a _nasty_ shade of purple right now.”

Noelle brought her hand to her eye once more, applying a bit of pressure to it. As she pressed down, a jolt of pain went through her eye, and she flinched. 

“Guess you’re right.”

“Hey… My house is closer. We could go there and get you fixed up faster.” Susie pointed her thumb behind her. “Come on, if we hurry, you won’t be as late.”

Noelle’s face went pink. Being the pushover she was, who was she to oblige? Susie helped her, and she couldn’t turn down more in her state.

“Okay.”

Without another word, they began the walk back towards the apartments, Susie leading the way as Noelle shuffled beside her. As Noelle’s thoughts began to trail, so did her eyes, traveling from Susie’s face up to the sky. 

She noticed the clouds weren’t covering the sun any more. 

_Must be a coincidence,_ she thought.

* * *

Noelle had visited Susie’s apartment, but never like this. Sure, she had walked Susie home before, but… had never really seen the inside of the building. She wasn’t supposed to visit Susie until a few weeks later. Noelle wondered to herself what it was like… if it was clean or not, whether it was really as a pigsty as some of the other kids rumored it to be… 

She wasn’t one to judge at the moment, however. Susie was being generous enough to invite her in to get cleared up. Showing up to class with a bruised eye — even worse, showing herself to her _mother_ with a bruised eye — was bound to raise some questions, and Noelle was not ready to be placed in that position. 

The two headed up the steps to the door, Susie fidgeting with the keys in her hand as she got ready to unlock the door. After jingling the keys around and shaking them around in the keyhole, she managed to unlock it. 

The door swung open with a loud creak. 

“After you.” Susie gave a casual gesture towards the now open door, holding it open for her guest. 

Noelle inhaled, her breath hitching after she peered around inside. A cold draft flew over her as the door remained open, and all she could make out in the dark apartment were what she assumed to be various furniture pieces lumped together in one silhouette. She also spotted various posters and papers on the walls, one of them depicting what she thought looked like a vintage comic book superhero displayed in the center. 

“Thanks.” Noelle gave Susie a smile, avoiding eye contact with her to prevent having her face grow florid again. 

Stepping into Susie’s apartment, Noelle began to find herself shivering upon entering. Her air conditioning must not have been working, she thought. While Noelle did enjoy the cold, it didn’t really help to have the backsides of her clothing covered in murky water and dirt. 

Susie turned on the lights, causing them to flicker as they turned on. It didn’t offer too much light, to say the least. Most of the bulbs had burned out, leaving only a dim glow to the small foyer. 

After the door had closed behind them, Susie dashed through the small hallway, leaving Noelle stranded in the foyer. To Noelle’s surprise, the taller girl ran out with a frozen bag of vegetables, holding it out to her with one hand. 

Susie stared at the ground. “Um… I don’t really have any ice packs.”

Noelle let out a giggle, taking the bag into her hands and observing it.

“Well, I mean… whatever works!” She held the bag up to her eye, feeling it defrost against her face. 

“Come on, I’ll get you a change of clothes. We can just throw your current ones in the wash after that.” Susie gestured down an adjacent hall.

“That’s really kind of you, Susie-”

Susie shrugged. “Well, I care about my friends, y’know?”

Noelle’s only response was in the form of a bashful smile. She was lucky Susie’s lights were so dim, or her bright red face would have been too visible for her likes. 

Hell, if she kept blushing even more, she wouldn’t be surprised to find the bag of frozen vegetables she used as an ice pack to be cooked right inside the bag.

Scanning the walls of the hallway with her available eye, she noticed more posters donning the wall. Many of them seemed to be based off horror or action movies. One poster depicted a rather large human terrorizing a city of monsters beneath him; another featured a group of various robot superheroes placed in a dramatic fashion. 

There was one poster that seemed to catch her eye, however. It was what she depicted to be a poster for a romantic comedy movie, featuring a monster located on the right side of the poster gazing at something, or someone. What the monster was looking at, Noelle would never know, for the entire left side of the poster had been torn away from the wall, leaving only the character and half of the movie title remaining. 

Why was such a disheveled poster such as this still hanging up on the wall?

Noelle shrugged to herself, and continued down the hall. She came to a halt, reaching a door at the end. Susie turned the knob, revealing the room to be hers. 

She strolled right in, stepping around the mattress Susie used for her bed and towards a beat-up wooden dresser drawer. Noelle didn’t bother to step inside yet, taking in the state of the room before she decided to enter. 

It wasn’t as messy as Noelle expected it to be. A mattress lay in the center of the room against the wall, covered in blankets that had not been made to the bed. A few jackets were strewn about on the carpet, and across from the bed, an old, staticky box television sat against the opposite wall. Stacked next to it were various movies on dusty videotapes, all out of their boxes, and a few small discs — it was possible the discs were made for a video game console. 

She looked to her left, watching Susie rummage through one of her drawers. She threw out a few shirts before turning towards the door.

“You can come in, y’know.”

Noelle was caught off guard, a flush of red rushing to her cheeks, caught off guard with embarrassment. “Oh, yeah, sorry.” 

She took a few steps into the room, taking a look at some of the clothing that was already thrown onto Susie’s mattress. Oversized ripped jeans, a giant graphic tee, a wrinkled red flannel… Most of it looked too big and baggy for her tastes. She wondered if it would even fit her for the day.

Two new articles of clothing joined the small pile, and Susie turned around, closing the drawer. A pair of drawstring sweatpants and a neon green tee shirt covered the previous clothes

“I know most of my clothing might be too big for you, but I think those ones might work. They’re… an old friend of mine’s.” 

Susie did a slight grimace, hesitating on her words. 

“The… pants might be a little too long, but I think if you just... roll them up or something, they’ll be okay.”

Noelle picked them up from the pile, slinging them over one arm. The material was soft to the touch, as if they had been pulled fresh out of the dryer. She headed towards the door, glancing back towards the room with each step.

“Um… Should I just... go to the bathroom, or…?” She pointed towards the hallway, then gesturing to her clothes, letting out a dry laugh.

“I mean, uh… I’m... not gonna look, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Noelle stood still in confusion, not sure whether to stay or head to the adjacent bathroom. “Um… okay…?” 

Susie crouched down, sitting on the mattress facing her dresser. She propped her head up on her hands, gazing into nothingness. “Go ahead. Just let me know when I can turn around.”

“Oh… okay.” Noelle cleared her throat, attempting to cover up the cracks in her voice. She made her way to the corner of the room.

She began to feel a certain aura in the room, leaving nothing but the sound of Noelle’s rustling clothes in one corner and her heart racing so fast she could hear the blood circulating to her ears. As she unbuttoned her shirt, she glanced back at Susie, her back still facing Noelle. 

_She sure kept her promise,_ Noelle thought.

She wasn’t too sure, but Noelle wondered if Susie felt the growing tension in the room, as well. There was something… odd about it. One one hand, she liked it, her heart pounding and the adrenaline in her rising; on the other hand, she had to break the unbearable silence. If she held out for much longer, she felt like her chest would explode.

Noelle glanced towards Susie before throwing the unbuttoned shirt into a heap on the floor. “Hey, um… Susie, about earlier…” She picked up the neon shirt, unfolding it and smoothing it out with one hand.

“I… I just wanted to say sorry.”

Susie wanted to turn her head and glance back at her, to look her in the eyes and forgive her for… whatever Noelle did. She knew nothing she did was wrong, yet something inside her needed to confirm Noelle was going to be alright. However, she knew she couldn’t look back. Not yet. She straightened her back, no longer hunching over.

“Well… what are you sorry for?”

Noelle exhaled. “For… having you find out like that. That… I like girls.”

She wished she didn’t have to think back on what happened again.

“I- I wanted to tell you on my own, but… that whole thing with Berdly happened and… I don’t know. Not exactly the way I hoped it would go, heh....”

A sigh from Susie broke the slight silence. 

She wished she could have heard it from Noelle in her own way, too. It wasn’t fair what had happened with her and Berdly. Noelle deserved a better coming-out than what Susie overheard.

“Hey, um, you know, just… it’s okay. Us girls gotta look out for each other, I guess. Especially when it deals with something like that.” Susie let out a breathy laugh.

“It sucks, I know. I’m… _I’d say I’m in the same boat too._ ”

Susie decided to stop her talking there. She could only hope for Noelle to understand what she meant. She wouldn’t be too surprised if she did pick it up; Susie did have that vibe to her, after all.

Noelle, on the other hand, grew confused with the phrase. Was she gay? That had to mean she was gay… right? Or was she just being supportive? Just helping out her new friend? 

Whatever she meant, it gave Noelle a sense of encouragement.

“Well… thanks, Susie.”

Noelle tied up the sweatpants with a drawstring, making them more snug to her body. She smoothed them out, with a relieved smile on her face. 

“I’m done changing, by the way!”

Susie turned around and stood up, glancing over Noelle’s new look. While her hair remained matted from before, the shirt and the sweatpants offered her some comfort and warmth, opposed to her previous clothes.

Noelle began fiddling with a damp section of her hair, heading towards the bathroom. “Do you think you might have a brush I could borrow or something?”

“Uh… I think it’s on the counter. And if it’s not, check the drawers. Shit just piles up in there.”

Noelle chuckled to herself.

“Hey, it’ll be like a scavenger hunt!” Susie called from her room.

As she entered the dimly lit bathroom, she scanned her eyes over the counter. Lucky for her, there wasn’t much to scan, and she was able to locate a wooden brush in a short time. It didn’t appear to have much usage to Susie, as not much hair was clumped around the bristles. Noelle grabbed it off the counter and began detangling the matted parts of her hair.

“Hey, wait. Come out here.” Susie’s tone from across the hall was warm and inviting. “Let me try something.”

“With what?”

“Like… bring the brush here. I have an idea.”

With a confused look on her face, Noelle dragged her feet out of the bathroom, across the carpet, and back into Susie’s room. 

To her left, she saw Susie push herself upright onto her mattress. “Come on, sit down!”

Letting out a breathy laugh, Noelle shrugged her shoulders and walked over.

“Okay. Now, give me the brush.” She held out her hand, but Noelle seemed to have a tight grip on it.

“What are you planning to do with my hair?!” Noelle gripped her hair in a joking manner, moving away from the brush. “I mean, no offense, but…” Noelle gestured towards Susie’s bedhead.

Susie let out a hearty laugh, throwing her head back. _“Wow, thanks a lot.”_

Noelle’s face went red, stuttering between every word. “Wait, no, that wasn’t- that wasn’t what I meant… It- it’s nice! _You’re_ nice! That… that was rude of me to say-”

Susie let out a sympathetic smile, holding her hands up and consoling her as she stuttered. “No, no, it’s alright!”

Becoming conscious of the nest that was her hair, she combed her fingers through her hair, trying to detangle the knots in her bedhead. After struggling to pull her fingers out, Susie let out a breathy laugh, turning to the side. 

“It… it is a little messy, I’ll give it that...”

Her thoughts turned back towards Noelle, sitting with her legs crossed on the mattress, grass blades and leaves sticking out of the golden strands of her hair. 

“But… anyways, come on, turn around. I’m gonna braid your hair.”

“... Braid it?”

Susie nodded. “It’s, like, a ‘hidden talent’ thing of mine. Just trust me on this.”

Noelle raised her shoulders in excitement. “Well, I had no idea that you know how to do that!” She turned her body towards the edge of the mattress, with her back facing Susie. “I can barely do my own hair, so that’s really sweet of you.”

“Yeah, my older brother taught me. He used to have long hair, so I’d always practice on him.” Susie explained as she tucked Noelle’s hair behind her and began to pluck out the stray bits of grassy residue. “But once he got older, he chopped it all off, and I never really liked styling my hair with braids and shit, so…”

“Well, I’m excited to see what you do with my hair!”

The corners of Susie’s mouth turned up into a small grin. She didn’t want to admit it, but she missed getting to practice this hobby of hers. On first glance, it wasn’t something someone would assume she knew how to do. However, whenever her fingers became interlocked with hair, that was where the magic began.

Smoothing out Noelle’s hair caused most of the grass to fall out. Susie decided to pluck out the rest of the small, crushed pieces of leaves that didn’t seem to come out. Speckles of dead leaves in her hair wouldn’t suit well with the French braid that Susie was planning to do — nor would she think it would match the warm, blonde hair that Noelle sported.

There was something hypnotizing about the golden waves of her hair, cascading over her back. Susie brushed her fingers through the strands, feeling the dampness, yet softness that Noelle brought with it. 

She shook her head out of what felt like a trance. _Snap out of it, Susie._

Exhaling, she began to grab three pieces of hair right on top and began to fold them over each other, bringing each new strand to the center. Grabbing more sections of hair to add to the previous work, she wove them into the braid, knowing they weren’t meant to hang down for much longer. While some pieces weren’t being used, they were to serve a practical, yet fashionable design later into Susie’s work.

Her fingers worked in a diligent fashion, as Susie wove the pieces of hair, across and across. Each piece interlocking with another section of warm blonde hair created more intricate details, hiding the previous incident which Noelle had to endure. She would look clean and tidy, as if nothing had happened at all.

Picking up the final sections of hair, Susie sorted them into the final remnants of the braid, and began to finish. Holding pieces of the hair between her fingers made the task easier for her, and helped her fix it faster.

As Susie got the braid down to the ends of her hair, she admired over her work one final time. For not having braided hair for a long time, it looked.... decent. It had all the qualities a simple French braid had. Sure, a few strands of hair managed to come loose, but overall, it wasn’t bad.

Susie held the end of the braid down, in a closed fist. She leaned over Noelle’s shoulder. Her voice had become soft-spoken — still gruff, but much calmer than usual.

“I’m finished. Do you have a hair tie that I could use?”

Noelle wasn’t sure why, but she felt a tingling sensation go up her spine. Holding out her wrist, she pulled off a green, elastic band that was wrapped around it. 

“Um, yeah… I always keep one on me.”

Susie plucked it from her fingers, and with a few swift motions of her hands, she tied off the end of the braid, and smoothed everything down one final time. She backed away from Noelle, sighing in relief.

Noelle pulled the braid over her shoulder, turning around and smiling at Susie. 

“So, does it look alright?”

Susie wasn’t sure what to say. Looking over Noelle, she realized she’d never really seen her with her hair braided back before. It was a strange feeling that arose in her chest, like a wave of relaxation washed over her — yet, it felt like her insides had grown stiff. Susie couldn’t tell if it was anxiousness, or if it were due to the fact that she hadn’t eaten breakfast that morning…

“I… I think it looks great. I’m surprised it turned out so well, to be honest.”

Noelle patted down the back of the braid, keeping extra caution to not mess any part of her hair up.

“Well… thank you, Susie. I really appreciate it. It was a really sweet gesture.” Noelle smiled, glancing down and fiddling with the end of her braid.

“Anytime. I mean, it- it was a lot of fun. Thank _you,_ Noelle.”

A brief silence followed the two, leaving both with sheepish smiles.

Susie was the first to speak up. “Well, we should- we should probably put your clothes in the laundry and head to school now, huh?”

Noelle became aware of the hour, and she grew tense as her eyes widened. 

“Oh, God, _you’re right._ We gotta hurry.”

Swooping down to grab her damp clothes, she piled everything of hers into her arms and ran outside of Susie’s room, checking every doorway in the hall to find the laundry machine. 

Susie let out a breathy laugh, pushing herself off the mattress. 

“Second door on the right, Noelle!”

* * *

It was a bit strange for Noelle to walk into school that morning, wearing what felt to be like pajamas. She often found herself pulling at the soft fabric as she moved around, wondering if the clothes were hanging too low. As she and Susie approached the lockers in the silent hallway, she found herself once more smoothing out the neon green shirt, taking off her backpack and opening her locker.

Susie leaned against the lockers on one shoulder, waiting for her to finish unloading. “If you need me to, I… I can walk you home today, if that’s okay.”

“Thank you. That… that’s really nice of you.” Noelle cocked her head towards Susie, giving her another friendly smile. 

She felt a little better about the situation that happened with her and Berdly beforehand. Sure, she was still anxious to approach him — hell, even seeing him in class might get her anxiety up, — but she felt a sense of protection over her.

She truly owed it all to Susie for arriving when she did.

Noelle closed her locker with a click, books in one arm, and headed with Susie towards the classroom door.

“After you.” Susie reached for the door handle, swinging the door open with a loud creak.

As she stepped into the room, Susie leaning against the door, Noelle was greeted with multiple murmurs and stares coming from her classmates. Their eyes, staring up towards her bruised one, expressed what they collectively thought — _“Susie must have beaten Noelle up”._

To Noelle, it felt almost as if she was in an embarrassing dream.

Alphys turned her head away from the chalkboard, catching a glimpse of the two girls in the doorway. She flashed a nervous smile towards them.

“You… you two are late. I’ll have to mark- mark you up.” 

Noelle brought her voice to a hush, hanging her head, shuffling across the classroom to her seat. “We’re- we’re sorry, Miss Alphys.”

As she slunk herself into her desk, she put away her books underneath her seat, trying not to cause any more attention to be drawn to her. Being called out and made the center of attention in front of her class wasn’t really how she liked to walk into class in the mornings. That bruised eye of hers was only going to draw more attention to her. Who knew what rumors were bound to start, especially with her walking in alongside the token bully.

“Susie,” Alphys spoke up. “Come and- and sit down, please.” She pushed up her glasses with her middle finger, staying close to her desk.

For Susie, she had grown used to the attention of coming in late. She headed towards her desk, striding across the classroom towards Noelle and Berdly’s desks. She took one last good look at Berdly.

Leaves were sticking out of his feathers, and his glasses were slightly bent. A few fresh scabs and scratches were also visible. He gave a shameful glare to her, bringing his head down.

The phrase _‘What an ass’_ was the only thing that came into Susie’s mind. She rolled her eyes.

Walking past Noelle’s desk, she made direct eye contact with her, nudging Berdly’s desk with her hip with extreme force. Berdly let out a squawking noise as his desk wobbled with intensity, a few papers falling to the floor.

It almost felt like something out of a movie. Susie could have sworn it happened in slow motion. She gave Noelle a small grin before heading to the back of the classroom.

Alphys’s adenoidal voice chirped up from the front of the room. “S-Susie, please be more aware of- of other students next time, okay?”

“... Yes, ma’am.”

_“Anyways, back to the formula, up- up on the chalkboard, right here, if you’ll turn to chapter two…”_

Noelle began to tune out Alphys’s nasal voice. She didn’t know how well she would be able to focus that day. She glanced down at her open textbook, watching the letters blur on the paper into one blob of text. 

There was too much to think about. She never expected for Susie to arrive at the time she did.

And God, was she lucky that Susie did.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so.... how about that gay tension, huh?? nothing says "lesbian" like performing intimate rituals of having another girl braid your hair on her bed!
> 
> anyways!! thank you for being so patient with me!! i really hope you enjoyed reading; feedback is always appreciated!
> 
> fun fact: i based a few of the scenes in this chapter off the "Girls Like Girls" music video. can you guess which ones???
> 
> speaking of which, that's the song of the chapter!! check the music video out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0MT8SwNa_U


	4. the aftermath, in darkness and light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That October morning wasn't exactly the way monsters would want to begin their day. But hey, some good things came out of it - and others want to know the truth behind the actions.
> 
> Maybe revealing the truth will unveil something bigger, in darkness and in light.

Running requires endurance. Without endurance, a quick jog around the block would cause one to feel as if one’s lungs and legs were on fire. There’s no enjoyment to the run; there is only the feeling of soreness and pain afterwards.

Thankfully, if one keeps training enough, dealing with the pain, their stamina is more likely to build up, and one can have the endurance to last a run without feeling like they’ll have the air knocked out of them.

That October afternoon, the cool autumn air gave Noelle a sense of exhilaration as she breathed it in, walking along the sidewalks of the neighborhood. Finishing her cross country practice hadn’t been enough for her; she requested that she and Jockington take extra laps around the block one too many times that day. Still, she didn’t seem to notice the burning sensation in her calves — nor did she notice the stinging bruise on her eye that she had received earlier that day — as she made her way over to Catti’s house with her other cross country partner.

It was almost a tradition to go to Catti’s after practice ended. Not only were scheduled practice days one of the few days Catti didn’t have to work, it was nice to hang out with some people from school every once in a while. While she wasn’t _terribly_ close to either Jockington or Catti, it felt nice to be included.

As she began to walk to Catti’s, pulling out her cell phone, she was surprised to see several unread messages as the screen lit up. A small smile crept onto her face, reading who they were from.

 

**_Susie: 4:20 pm, October 1_ ** __

_> hey!!!_

_> haha blaze it_

_> YOOOO noelle i saw you run past the apartments. Hell yeah. work those quads!!!_

_> dude youre like the QUEEN of running i saw you make ANOTHER lap around the block_

_> whens your coronation… we gotta like. crown u with running shoes or smth _

 

Noelle snickered to herself, shaking her head and sending back a reply.

 

**_Noelle: 4:29 pm_ ** __

_> aw oops!! just saw these; I’m heading to Catti’s now with Jockington lol_

_> and thank you, Susie!! :D_

_> I try my harsdest_

_> hardest**_

_> oh my god..._

_> I didn’t win my third grade spelling bee for this_

_**Susie: 4:30 pm** _

_> pffft, youre doing fantsastic_

_> do you still need me to walk you home today?_

_**Noelle: 4:30 pm** _

_> that’s really sweet of you but idk about today! I think I can make it home on my own, hehe ^^_

_**Susie: 4:31 pm** _

_> are you sure??_

_**Noelle: 4:31 pm** _

_> i’ll be fine lol!!! Catti’s house is right across the street from mine anyways_

_> it’ll be like a 3 minute walk at most_

_**Susie: 4:33 pm** _

_> i just wanna like make sure youre doing good after the whole b*rdly situation and all_

_**Noelle: 4:33 pm** _

_> awww, that’s really sweet of you!!! but I’m sure I’ll be fine_

_> also i don’t know why, but you censoring out his name is absolutely hilarious to me_

_**Susie: 4:33 pm** _

_> pffft glad to see my studies in comedy school are payign off _

_> but yeah idk i guess i just dont like…. want you to like go thru that again with him_

_> i mean i would. GLADLY kick his ass again but. I think my impression already left a good mark on him_

_> yikes... who knows what ppl are gonna think of me after seeing that wreck of a bird lmao_

_**Noelle: 4:34 pm** _

_> well??? In my Very Honest Opinion, I thought you were like…. a knight or something!!! Hsdjkfhdfj _

 

Noelle had hesitated before hitting send on the message. Her head raced, wondering if she’d come off too strong. Bringing the heat to rise in her cheeks, causing a warm color to spread across her face soon after, she buried one hand to her head, with her phone in hand. The cell phone clunked against her forehead, causing her to wince and rub her sore.

“Dude, Noelle!”

Noelle snapped back to reality, turning away from her phone to spot Jockington, nudging her with his tail as they stood on the welcome mat to Catti’s doorstep.

She let out an apologetic laugh. “Oh, I- Sorry about that, Jockington.” She rushed to turn off her cell phone, only for it to light up once more, displaying another text message from Susie. Noelle covered the lit-up screen, placing the phone against her chest before he could take a peek at it.

 

**_Susie: 4:35 pm_ ** __

_> HELL YEAH i’m a knight!! _

 

“Someone _special_ texting you?” While Jockington’s sunglasses covered up his eyes, a smug look plastered his face, staring at the back of her phone. Noelle assumed he was most likely wagging his eyebrows up and down.

Noelle scoffed, turning around to hide the spreading blush on her face. “Pfft, none of your _business._ ”

“ _Uh-huh._ Now, are you gonna open the door for me or what?”

Noelle looked down at Jockington, and back towards the doorstep. She exchanged the smug glance he had given her before. “What, you mean you don’t wanna use the _cat flap?_ ”

She gestured towards the doorstep, pointing out the obligatory cat flap on Catti’s front door.

“Bro! You _know_ I hate using the cat flap! Like, that cat hair that’s all over their floor, it gets all over me if I go that way.”

“Well, I can understand that. Special treatment it is.” Noelle turned the handle to the front door, gesturing Jockington to come into the house first.

The stench of cat food welcomed the two into Catti’s house as the front door swung open. No matter how many times Noelle visited her house, the smell always made her want to gag. She covered her nose as she closed the door.

“Yo, Catti!”

Catti was propped on the couch, phone in one hand, and an eyeliner pen in the other. She held her phone close to her face, as if it was a compact mirror, as she focused intently on fixing her makeup. She glanced over to Noelle and Jockington, letting out a nonchalant _“hey”._

Noelle looked over towards her, as Catti drew giant swoops of black liner overlapping the previous layer. “Oh, touching up your makeup? It… it looked really pretty today…” 

Catti brought the phone camera closer to her face, continuing to apply the eyeliner in thick strokes. She didn’t seem to show any emotion as she replied.

“... It’s how I express myself. Thanks.”

Noelle and Jockington exchanged confused glances to each other, Jockington leaning over to Noelle’s ear.

“I think she’s, like, going through a phase or something, dude. It’s best not to question it.”

“I figured as much.” Noelle shrugged it off.

With a personality that contrasted her boisterous older sister’s, Catti never came off as a people person. When she was with Jockington, on the other hand, it was a different story. Their friendship had always been much more dynamic and laid-back; in fact, it was Catti who had initiated the friendship in the first place. A reserved goth being best friends with a sporty counterpart… who would have known the duo would work well together?

“Hope you don’t mind we’re crashing your place again.” Jockington settled himself on an armchair, exhaling. “We had a _killer_ cross country practice today.”

Noelle let out a breathy laugh, tossing her backpack to the side and slumping onto the opposite side of the couch where Catti sat. She noticed clumps of cat hair landing on her cross country tee shirt, and brushed them off, squirming. 

“Heh, I won’t lie, I haven’t felt this exhausted from running in a while. And yet, I still feel energized.”

Jockington was lying across the armchair, letting out a groan. “Noelle, bro. We, like, already did extra laps. No more… Please...”

“Geez, tough day, huh?”

Catti had set down her eyeliner pen, revealing a new, thick layer of black lines winged around her eyes. However, her phone was still clenched in her hand, and she resorted to texting with it.

“To be honest, for the most part, it hasn’t been too bad.” Noelle shrugged. She was rummaging around in her backpack, and pulled out a bottle of water, sighing in relief. “Sure, there were some ups and downs, but-”

“Are you referring to that black eye of yours, or...?”

Noelle’s smile vanished from her her face. She placed her hand to her eye, making a half-assed attempt to hide it.

“Yeah, like, what’s with the bruise?” Catti gestured towards Noelle’s face, only to resume her habit of typing with vigor on her phone. 

“Rumor’s going around that Susie clocked you, dude.”

Noelle sighed, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her water. “Geez, there’s rumors going around, already?”

Catti shrugged her shoulders. “I mean, I just assumed, because of you two walking into class late and all.”

“Guys, _just because_ I walked into class with Susie with a bruised eye _doesn’t mean-_ ”

“Like, bro, did you DO something to provoke her?”

“No? Guys, it wasn’t even her.” Noelle held out her hands in frustration. “It was _Berdly._ ”

As soon as the culprit was named, Catti and Jockington offered quick glances towards each other, letting out a snicker. _“Berdly?!_ ” 

Jockington shook his head. “Nah, that can’t be right, bro. Like, that dude has obviously NEVER benched in his life. How could HE do that to your face?”

Noelle lounged onto the side of the couch, propping up one foot and resting it on her knee. 

“Well, I had to meet up with him before the project was due . And then I said something I shouldn't have said to him, and as I bent over to pick something up, _boom._ ” She gestured to her eye. “His giant, ugly, clawed foot smacks me right in my eye.” Noelle shuddered. “You know, for such a nerdy, skinny dude like him, I’m surprised he had that kind of strength.”

Jockington piped up. “Hey, if his legs are really that strong, we should, like, get him on the cross-country team!”

_“No.”_

Catti turned away from her cell phone, the clicking from her claws on her phone still sounding. “Like… what did you even say to make him mess up your face like that?”

It wasn’t Noelle’s favorite thing to reflect on the incident that had happened earlier that day. Sure, there were a few good things that came out of it, but the bottom line was that Berdly kicked her out of hate. Hate for being rejected, hate for Noelle being a lesbian. Saying that kind of information could be risky, letting it out. Who knows what new rumors would come out of that, as well.

She hesitated. “Well, I’m not too sure if I should, y’know… spare _all_ the details.”

Jockington and Catti inched closer to her. Catti had put down her phone, tuning in to what Noelle was going to say next. Texting had grown of no use to her.

“Well?” Catti’s monotone voice had a hint of anticipation to it. “Are you gonna spill it?”

“Come on, dude, you gotta let us know!”

An unsure look crept onto Noelle’s face. “You… you gotta promise not to tell anyone, okay?”

The two friends nodded in unison, staring at her with eagerness in their eyes.

Noelle’s breath hitched, trying to come up with a way to explain it without all the…“coming out” details. “W-well, I… I met Berdly at the park this morning. And we went over the monthly project. And… and after we finished, he…”

She had a hard time finishing the sentence, shuddering. “He… asked me out.”

There was a brief moment of silence between the three of them, glancing amongst themselves. Noelle wasn’t sure how to react. She wanted to laugh at the concept of someone like him asking her out, but at the same time, after she rejected Berdly, he treated her like shit.

Catti was the first to break the silence, breaking into a fit of laughter. She covered her mouth, stifling her snorts.

It was the most emotion Noelle had seen Catti perform in a long, long time.

Catti wiped away a tear forming in the corner of her eye. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry… Just… HIM, out of all people… He wouldn't stand a CHANCE.”

It took Catti all of her energy to calm herself down. She pursed her lips, trying to hold her laughter back.

“As funny as it was, I had to reject, and… well, he got so offended that I didn’t recicro- repicro-” Noelle shook her head, snorting at her stutters. Speeding through her words caused her to slur through her sentences, leading her to stutter. She had to take it slow and articulate.

“Sorry. I didn’t _reciprocate_ , and well… he ripped up part of the project, and when I bent down to pick it up, he… well, you know.” She gestured towards her black eye.

“And this was all because you wouldn’t go out with him? Geez, kind of pathetic on his part if you ask me, dude.” Jockington shook his head in disappointment. 

Noelle grimaced. “W… Well, not _exactly,_ but I don’t really want to go into that. Maybe another day.”

The two friends stared at her with anticipation once more, leaving Noelle in an uncomfortable situation. Her cheeks flushed, and she turned her head away.

“H-hey! A girl’s gotta have her privacy, you know? I… I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

There was a brief pause. Thankfully for Noelle, Jockington was able to change the conversation around, leaving the awkward silence behind. “So, like, why did Berdly come in all beat up, then? Did you, like, kick him back?”

Noelle hesitated. “Well, no… It wasn’t me. I was too shocked to really do anything. It’s actually… actually quite surprising what happened after that…”

She felt herself relax the tensed-up muscles in her body, reminiscing on the situation. “It was… Susie, funnily enough. She walked up to him, saying she heard everything, and…” Noelle paused, snickering. 

“Well, to make a long story short, she threw him into a bush. It was kind of like… a scene out of a movie, where the protagonist confronts the bully, or something...”

Jockington tilted his head. “Susie, defending you? That, like, doesn’t make much sense. Doesn’t she have, like, a reputation to uphold, man?”

“Well, _maybe_ she’s trying to change?” Noelle shrugged her shoulders, trying to act oblivious. “Yeah, I get rumors spread fast around here, but-“

Catti was quick to interrupt, scoffing while pulling out her phone once more. “Oh, please. Noelle, don’t play dumb. I’ve seen you trying to get on her good side lately.” 

Tapping and swiping at her phone screen in a rapid fashion, she soon turned her phone towards the two, revealing a candid photo of Noelle and Susie sitting in a booth at QC’s Diner. The two had sheets of homework in front of them, as well as two strawberry milkshakes, seeming to laugh at something. The phone had dated the picture for some time in mid-September, around two weeks since they first became friends.

Noelle snatched the phone out of Catti's hands to examine the picture closer, her face growing redder by the second. “ _How_ did you get this…?”

As if it was instinct, Catti yanked it away. “Uh, I _work_ there. And hey, _hands off!_ ” She held the device to her chest, as if she was swaddling a baby. 

“Why would you take random pictures of me in the first place?!” Noelle sputtered. “And… during _work_ , out of all the times and places?!”

Catti smirked. “Just to catch up on... local town shenanigans. Let’s word it that way.”

“Geez, Catti, you’re like a walking tabloid machine.” Noelle rolled her eyes, shaking her head. 

“Jokes aside, send this picture to me.” She had sped through the sentence, hoping it would sound somewhat sarcastic to Catti.

“...What?” Catti raised a brow, slowly turning her head towards the girl.

“Hey, it… it brings out my smile nicely! And... it looks like the two of us are… are having a fun time in this. Don’t question me, just… send it.” Noelle waved the stuttering off, trying to play it cool.

Catti — opposed to Jockington observing the conversation — wasn’t clueless. She eyed Noelle, who was now rubbing the back of her neck out of what Catti seemed to assume was embarrassment.

“ _Uh-huh_. Okay, whatever. I’ll send it.” 

A smirk growing on Catti’s face, she sent the picture to Noelle’s phone, adding a brief message along with it. As Noelle’s phone vibrated, she pulled it out, burying her face in her hands as she glanced over Catti’s messages. 

 

**_Catti: 5:06 pm_ ** __

_> [1 Image Sent]_

_> LMAOOOOOO_

_> Girl, you’ve got it BAD for her_

_> I’ve seen how you act around her at QC’s. You likeeee her….~ _

_> YOU CANNOT DENY THIS, NOELLE HOLIDAY _

 

Catti wasn’t extremely shocked, to say the least. During her work hours, she’d seen the two laughing over something — often following a jittery Noelle starting to stutter every time Susie would flash one of her classic toothy smiles. She was beginning to notice these patterns recurring in her; after all, it wasn’t like she was clueless. 

Although she never wanted to admit it to Noelle, Catti had noticed the girl acted the same way around her when they were a few years younger — around the end of middle school. However, the way she acted with Susie made Noelle appear more confident, and less of the anxiousness that would occur when Noelle tried “flirting” with Catti. Emphasis on _tried._ Sure, Noelle had an obvious crush on Catti then, and liking someone in middle school always results in strange encounters with the other, but excessive staring and inching towards another person could come off as creepy to one.

When Noelle was with Susie, she came off as more “relaxed”, even though Noelle would never admit it. Noelle seemed like she felt… safer. Sure, a little jittery from, well, being around the girl she liked, but that was a normal feeling. In Catti’s eyes, Noelle looked like she was enjoying herself in Susie’s presence, and not fretting about what to do, or if she messed up. 

Catti noticed glints in Susie’s eyes, too; however, she wasn’t sure how Susie felt. From what she witnessed, Susie seemed to show off her true colors as NOT being the “bully’ stereotype for once. During her job, it wasn’t rare for Catti to hear Susie let out fits of laughter, or to hear them let out an excessive groan in unison over homework problems.

No matter how their futures went, Catti had a good feeling that the two girls would remain friends, to say the least.

Trying to hold back a giant grin, Catti pursed her lips, nodding smugly. “So? Am I right, or am I right?”

Noelle let out a sigh looking up with desperation and a surrender-filled stare in her eyes. A small, breathy laugh followed. “Yeah…”

Jockington looked around at the scene unfurling before him, buried in confusion. 

“... So, like, is anyone gonna explain what’s going on between you dudes, or am I gonna just be left in the dark with this one?”

* * *

The smell of cleaning chemicals wafted through the air of the Card Castle’s throne room, as Susie stepped back from her battle axe. It had been the third time she had polished the weapon that day — making it stand out in its colorful and reflective beauty against the monochrome decor of the castle — and she let out a longing sulk.

“God, one of these days I’d like to actually use this thing. I bet I could get the hang of fighting with it.” She stretched her arms above her head, turning towards the throne. “Too bad there’s not really any asses to kick down here, huh, Lancer?”

Lancer seemed to be preoccupied, listening to music on a small music player. Headphones were placed... wherever his ears seemed to be. Susie furrowed her brow out of confusion upon viewing him perform the action; she always did wonder how he was able to listen to those cartoon splat noises of his. Albeit a… strange “music genre”, she wasn’t one to judge him in a harsh manner, especially to Lancer.

He stood up on his throne, turning towards her. “WHAT DID YOU SAY, SUSIE?!”

He seemed to have his “music” turned all the way up to the highest volume setting. Susie jumped at Lancer’s loudness, despite it being the only way he seemed to talk. Susie pantomimed to him in an aggressive fashion to yank the headphones off, and Lancer did so. 

“I said too bad there’s no asses to kick down here, right?”

“You can kick mine if you want!” Lancer was bouncing up and down on his feet, but being careful to not fall off his chair. 

Susie let out a pitiful laugh. “Thanks, but I’ll pass. Don’t you remember the last time I tried to? And if I recall correctly, it didn’t end up too well.”

“Oh, yeah! Those were some good times!” As if the conversation was done, Lancer turned back to his music player, shuffling through his tracks. It was a fairly old model for a music player, judging by its chunky physique. “Guess what? My ears are ringing!”

“Your Majesty, you’re going to ruin your hearing if you keep playing your music so loud.”

Ralsei had strolled into the throne room, holding various documents in his arms. “Please, Lancer, for everyone’s sake, keep your ability to hear intact! You’re the new king, after all… it’s important you understand what your subjects are saying.”

It was still strange, hearing Lancer referred to as a “king” now. He was still so young, still so immature, yet he still managed to overthrow his father and take over. It had been a few weeks since his reign began, and Lancer needed all the help he could get learning how to rule his new kingdom. Thankfully, he knew a few old friends that could get the job done, despite their sparse visits. 

“You guys make it seem so hard to be a ruler… I outlawed my DAD! And I think that was a really good move on my part!” He crosses his arms, pouting like a toddler would before they’d throw a fit. Thankfully, Lancer knew better than to complain about excessive things. Taking things on headfirst without any objections was a main trait of his.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, I maybe be a baby in people’s eyes, but that doesn't mean I can’t be the bestest king!”

Susie let out a quiet chuckle, hearing the wording of the sentence contradict with the tone of his voice. He had quite a ways to go, with both his grammar and his training. 

Susie shook her head at her thoughts. _Grammar?_ She was focused on his grammar, out of all things? All those study sessions with Noelle must have caused Susie to become more aware of little details in people’s banter. She shrugged it off. 

“Oh, I just know you’ll be the ‘bestest’, dude. You can bet your butt on it!” She flashed him a toothy grin, hoping to encourage him even more. 

Ralsei was perched on the throne room floor, sorting his grabbed files and placing papers to and fro. “How does one exactly… bet their ‘posterior’ on something?”

“Oh, it’s… It’s just a saying. I’m not asking him to, like, actually bet money on it. That’s… really weird. Lancer’s too young to gamble, anyways.”

“I… see. Thank you for the clarification, Susie.” Ralsei shuffled around a few of his papers, sorting them into a few separate piles. “Aside from… whatever that discussion was, with proper training, Lancer is bound to be an independent ruler in no time. And with my previous experience in ruling a kingdom, I have hopes that you’ll do fine!”

Lancer leaned in his chair towards Ralsei, a glint of curiosity shining from his face. It was still quite strange viewing him without that large hat he used to wear when they first met. It cast a large shadow on his face, and Lancer was surprised to see how his face truly looked — the most he could make out at first was a small pair of glasses.

“So, when I get all my training done, that’s when I can put out official decrees?”

Ralsei tilted his glasses down, examining a paper close to his face. “Well, you can now, but it’d be important to know what you’re decreeing before you put it out.”

Lancer shrugged. “Yeah, I can understand that. But the one thing I wanna do first is easy, anyways: give Susie an accolade!”

The Lightner and the Darkner both looked up — Ralsei with shock, and Susie with confusion. They were both thrown back a bit, seeing as how Lancer tended to use shorter, more concise words while talking.

_"An accolade?"_

Ralsei cleared his throat. "Y-Your Majesty... don't you think it's too early for that? Susie has only been recognized by the kingdom for less than a month! Wait until your training's completed, at least!"

"What do you mean?!" Lancer crossed his arms. “Sometimes I’d see my dad do ‘em... I’m pretty much an _expert!_ ”

“Can... can someone fill me in on this? I don’t even know what the hell an ‘accolade’ means. More importantly…" Susie turned to Lancer, giving him a joking smirk. "When did you get smarter than me?”

“I’ve always been smart!” Lancer stuck his tongue right back at his friend. 

Ralsei stood up, brushing his cloak off. “Susie… an accolade is a ceremony conferring knighthood. Lancer wants to make you a _knight of the kingdom._ ” Ralsei stepped forward with a hesitant, but congratulatory look glowing on his face. 

Susie was taken aback, her mouth agape. “That’s… oh, wow, I…”

_...A knight?_

Hearing the news brought a sense of deja vu to her, thinking back to her messages with Noelle, where she referred to Susie briefly as such. If Noelle saw her as a “knight”, then she guessed she could understand why Lancer would want to dub her as one. Although, there weren’t too many chivalrous deeds she remembered performing in the Dark World.

Regardless, it was still a huge honor for her. Her slacked jaw soon turned up into a big grin.

 _“Hell yeah! I’m gonna be a knight!”_ She pumped a fist in the air.

“Well, not yet, at least." There Ralsei went again... "Again, Lancer still has some training to do.”

Lancer stomped his foot down, dropping his jaw. “What?! H-Hey, I totally could make her one right now!”

Susie laughed, holding her hands in front of her. “No, no, it’s fine, Lancer. I’d rather wait for something more proper, I guess. That way it could… feel more ‘real’.” She glanced towards her axe once more, which was still glistening as bright as it was when she had first polished it. She admired herself in its reflection for a brief moment, then turning away.

“You know, it’s funny that you bring this up… a friend of mine actually compared me to a knight earlier today.”

Ralsei raised an eyebrow. “Do you perform chivalrous deeds in the Light World, as well? I never knew.”

Susie hesitated a bit. Looking back at some of her previous actions months ago, she wasn’t particularly referred to as someone “chivalrous” — that was an exaggerated overstatement, to say the least.

“Well… just to that one friend, I suppose.”

“It doesn’t matter how many people… The fact that you were able to offer them a sense of protection and kindness is what matters the most!” Ralsei’s soft smile grew, and he cocked his head. “What made this friend of yours consider you ‘knightly’?”

The taller girl took a deep breath, grimacing as she heard Berdly’s hateful tone to Noelle echo through her head. She stuttered, beginning to retell the incident. 

“Well… this friend of mine. Her name’s Noelle. A super sweet girl, really. And… earlier today, I found her with this other guy, who, from the looks of it, seemed pretty upset with her. And there she was, frozen with fear. I… I overheard their conversation, and…” 

Susie flinched. Even though it was many hours ago, she still hated looking back on it. “He… talked to her like garbage. Telling her she was disgusting for being something she couldn’t change. And… after he kicked her to the ground, I just had this instinct…”

She fiddled her hands together. “I had to confront him — which thankfully, I did — but more importantly… I had this sense that kept telling me to go protect Noelle.”

Susie looked up, letting out a breathy laugh. “I… I don’t know if that even counts as something knightly, but…” She let the sentence drift off, shrugging with sheepishness. 

Lancer was standing up in his chair again, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Wowie! With an event like that, you’ve GOTTA have your accolade right now!” He clapped his little hands together. “Can we? Can we, can we, can we?”

Susie let out a small laugh. “While I’m excited, this plan only just got mentioned. And... I think I'd rather wait. At least until I have more proper 'knight credentials', or whatever. And... don't forget your training as well, Lancer. Don't you think we should wait a while? Until you’re officially ready to perform those sort of things, at least?”

Lancer placed a hand to his chin, seeming lost in thought for what felt like exactly two seconds. He snapped his head up, resuming his usual goofy smile. “Hmm… You’re right! I better get to king training!”

The taller girl laughed, shaking her head and grabbing the metal polish once more. There wasn’t much she could help contribute to a lesson on the socioeconomic status of a kingdom she had only visited a few times. Polishing her battle axe was at least something to keep her busy.

“Hey, Ralsei!” Susie heard Lancer call. “Get off the floor! Help me with this ‘king training’ you said you were gonna do!”

A sigh emitted from Ralsei, and Susie was left with the remains of a conversation the two princes were discussing, as they left the sanctum.

_“I think it’s important that we pick up where we left off, dealing with the annual census that your kingdom has. If you look at this survey that was done here, you can see that…”_

_“Ooh! I like the little pictures drawn on the sides!”_

_“Oh, w-well… Thank you, Your Majesty; I drew them to help you out…”_

Soon, all that remained to the throne room was the echo of the princes’ voices, and Susie’s thoughts. Her brain seemed to dive deep down into Ralsei’s previous statements, focusing on one specific word that stood out to her that he described her as.

 _Chivalrous._ The primary trait of a knight. One who holds valiance, bravery, and honor in their heart.

While it didn’t seem to fit her just yet, she liked the ring the world had to it. _Maybe,_ Susie thought, _she’d have the term grow to fit her._

Hell yeah, she was going to be a knight in her own special way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really happy that this fic has gotten to the point where it is, and it makes me overjoyed to know that y'all are enjoying the story so far!! Hopefully the chapters won't be moving along as slowly, now that according to my fic notes I'm right at the point where I don't have to write as many "filler" chapters anymore. That DOES mean, however, that the fic chapters are going to get longer in the future.
> 
> Also, dealing with the new Deltarune news that Toby put out on the 15th, I don't think that I'm really gonna include anything involving the future chapters, game-wise ; after all, this fic was planned around December of 2018 and it's basically a "post-chapter one" of Deltarune kinda deal. However I am ECSTATIC that Noelle is most likely gonna be part of the Fun Gang and idk if i'll add that in yet? it is a possibility.
> 
> Next chapter? probably gonna be sad.
> 
> Uhhhh i don't really have a song for this one... i'll go with my second choice for the last chapter which was "Sunflower" by Post Malone and Swae Lee. go listen to that!! definitely a suselle song imo.

**Author's Note:**

> all according to keikaku...
> 
> anyways thanks for reading! i'm aware 10k is a LOT for one chapter; most chapters will be shorter, unless it's for like major parts of the plot.
> 
> a lot of these chapters i think are gonna be based off some songs, so i'll make sure to link them down below!
> 
> (check out the song i based the title off here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DyV0hWOdQw&app=desktop)


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